Heart's Desire

Chapter 6

Darkness surrounded him. There was a reason they called it the Forest of Eternal Night. Nothing was visible beyond the glow casting off his own body. He never realized how much light admitted from his skin. It wasn't something he thought about all the time. Light was a part of everything. It was in everything. It was around everything. The sun always shone in the sky during the day. Even the night in Haven was filled with the light of a constant full moon. There was no purpose for darkness in Haven. There was no place for it to hide. There was only light.

Darkness was outside Haven. It was foreign. It did not belong there. This place was different. Darkness thrived here. It covered every surface. It tried to cover him. The blackness was unlike anything he had ever seen in his life. Ink was the only think he could relate it to darkness that surrounded him. Here it was just black. Not gray, not brown, there was no semblance of any color what so ever. There was no life. He could not even see the trees until he ran into them. The realization that he was completely cut off from everything he had ever know sank into his bones with the blackness.

It was as if nothing else in the world existed except for him and his horse. Lightning stayed close to him. Whenever they were separated the darkness would slowly close in on Lightning until Jesse could barely make him out. He would have to hold on to the horses bridle. Slowly the darkness tried to wiggle its way inside of him. Time passed but there was no way of knowing how much time. It could have been a day. It might have been a week. Maybe even a month had passed. Jesse did not know. The inky blackness was disorientating. He had lost all sense of direction, all sense of time. He had even lost his sense of smell. There was nothing. No smell. No sight. No taste. No sound outside his own breathing. If there was life here, it hid its existence beyond his senses. He had tried talking to Lightning once or twice but the words seemed to be swallowed up. They never reached his ears. Only the feel of Lightning's bridal kept him grounded. The ruff leather scratched in inside of his palm. Every once in a while the strap felt light, like it was not really there so he would hold on tighter. He was grabbing on to it so tight that the edged cut long diagonal strips across his palm. He could not feel the pain or the drip drop sound made by his blood slowly illuminating the floor with little splashes of light. Had he taken the time to look down he would have seen the trail of blood he left behind. It glowed faintly enough to mark out the path he had taken. He did not look back or around. His gaze stayed focused on the gloom ahead of him. The nothingness covered his eyes. He would have gone insane without Lightning and the strap tethering them together. He was sure of that even if he was not sure of anything else.

The nothing wore on him all the same. His steps became slower. His felt unsure of where Lightning and him should go. Was he traveling north or was this direction south? Was he going back the way he had come out of the nothing or was he traveling farther into the blackness further away from the light? It was even possible, he mused, that he was just wondering around in a circle right on the edge of the Forest's boarder with the Kingdom. There was just no way to tell. Nothing around him looked right. Nothing looked different. Hopelessness snuck its way into his heart. Nothing. Life was becoming a circle of nothingness. He was loosing strength fast. He had to rest, but he did not feel safe were he was. The more he could not see into the darkness the surer he was that there was something out there. His paranoia grew. That fear kept him going. Something had to be out there and what ever lived on nothing had to be equally as frightening as the nothing itself if not more terrifying. He had to find something in the darkness. He was seeking shelter. Anything that would hide him from the emptiness would have been welcome. The glow that kept him from being completely blind was also a shining become to those that surrounded him. If others were out there, if some thing lived out there, it had not showed itself yet. The light must keep it away. Jesse thought. He did not want to test the theory. He had to find shelter soon so he could rest.

A sound broke through the nothingness to him. It was soft, distant trickle. Water Jesse's brain cried. Water. The very word brought a vision of it to his eyes. Cool, fresh running water. The pain in his throat yearned for the sound. He lost focus on everything else. He closed his eyes and listened for the melodic trickle. Yes, he thought, it is somewhere to my right.

"Come," he said to Lightning, "we are close to water I can hear it!" At least he thought he said it. The words did not reach his or Lightning ears. They were swallowed up just like every other sound in this place.

He ran forward now. Things hit and scraped him as he ran. He could not tell what things. It could have been tree limbs, leaves, branches, roots, small animals or even knives for all he knew or cared to know. The light from his body did not linger on them long enough for him to tell what there were. Nor did he care. The water called to him. He did not even feel the things as the struck. The pain in his throat consumed him. All he could think about was the water and how it would relieve his pain.

The pain was much worse than the one time he had needed to relieve himself, but was forced to stand at attention near the Fountain of Life in the main square for a four-hour drill session. The thirst on his tong begged to be quenched. The darkness had numbed all other feeling in his body. He had not realized how thirsty he really was until he thought about it. Now it burned uncontrollably blinding him to nearly all else. The sound nagged at his ears.

He was almost there. The sound had gotten louder. It was more like a faucet running than a trickle sound he had been hearing earlier. He stopped to listen. Yes, it was more to his right too. He turned in the darkness and ran on following the sound. It grew loader and loader until the sound was all he could hear.

He saw a light in the distance. He stopped short. The sound of water still drove him on but he was more careful now. Water attracts animal his brain told him. And humans. Water was not safe. There could be danger. Jesse tried to process this, but the burning in his throat was too much. The light. Remember the light. He trudged forward unsure of himself. Please, oh please, he begged. Let there be water. He came slower closer to the light. The sound of the water got closer too. The two were some how connected. In only a few steps he was right on top of the light. He looked down and saw his own reflection.

He laughed, but the sound was only auditable in his head. He had been scared for nothing. The dim light had been a reflection off the water of his own light. The irony was too much for him. He let it slip his mind. He could figure out all the ironies of his situation after he had quenched his thirst. He reached to with his free hand to cup the water so he could drink it. His other hand was still holding tightly to Lightning's reigns. The tip of his middle finger touched the water first. Searing pain stronger than the burning in his throat shot through his hand. He pulled it back in agony. He looked at his finger. The tip was black as charcoal. The river had burnt it off. He pulled back from the water's edge in terror. He did not want Lightning to go through the pain he had just suffered. His back was to a tree. From there he watched the water slowly drift out of the light of his body reflecting off its surface. He tried to drown out the sound of the water, but it was impossible. It was the only sound in this place and it could not be ignored.

Here he was close the source of what his frail body craved and still he could not have it. What kind of torture was this? Water that could not be drank. He never knew such a temptation could exist. To have what you needed but to not be able to use it. Even the sea could be drunk. Water from the sea would not quench ones thirst, but you could swallow it. Seawater could at least be swallowed. It tasted horrible and dried out the mouth more than it quenched ones thirst but it was touchable. However, this river's water was untouchable. The burn on his finger stung less now. The pain in his throat was more unbearable and the numbness of the darkness was taking its effect on him again. Jesse could tell that his flesh was scared. He took a piece of Lightning's bridle and lowered it into the water. He pulled it up only to find that all that was left was a smoldering tip. The entire length he had lowered into the water had evaporated into a wisp of smoke that was soon swallowed by the darkness.

He fell to his knees beside the water and cried. No tears came from his eyes because he had no moister to spare. His tong lay as a lump of burnt coal on his tong. It burnt him. He wished desperately to put out the fire but there was nothing to satisfy his thirst. If he drank this water he would surly die. There was no other explanation. He sobbed, but only the sound of the water could be heard.