Bitter smile and those foolishly beautiful dreams

Chapter 1

1

Having pizza for dinner wasn't such a bad idea, right? Brandon glanced on his sides. This is cool. Precisely his mothers' definition of lets hangout son and I'm cooking dinner. He wished. He knew his mom couldn't even cook a single dish yet, he came hopeful that she would at least feed him something nutrient filled, not some greasy takeout food.  

He sighs, staring between his mother and the movie they were watching.

"How's the therapy going so far? Anny told me you were half way over with the treatment." she asked hesitantly, and she sips onto her orange juice.

"Its fine, and yes." he said, flipping open the box and took a serving of pepperoni.

She nodded. "And, how about work?"

"Been busy as always." Brandon replied, after swallowing.

"Honey cut Brad some slack, will you? He's old enough, I believe he'll managed the company just fine." his father said reassuring his mother.

Brandon smiled, and mouthed thanks to his dad.        

He found his eyes dropping every second that passed. He could just barely open one eye and to think that he only just had two canned beers and he's already intoxicated. He wasn't much of a drinker either so, there is no surprised there.  Dizzy, he felt awfully dizzy, his world spinning like a whirlpool. And then, it all went black.

*

After dinner and unfinished movie his parents finally decided to kick him out of their place. Brandon went home right away. His mind on autopilot, he opened the door, slipped in and closed it right away. He strides into his room robotically. He closed his eyes, whatever beer he had awhile ago now wears off, and he was perfectly sober. Yet, still in the state of daze.    

Brandon sat down on the edge of the bed. He clutched the platinum bands between his fingers. "Would thing be different if you didn't die?" his voice cracked, and lace with emotion. "We should have been three years married by now."

December thirteen two-thousand and ten, who could have thought that the day they should be blissfully married, was the day he would hate for the rest of his life. He closed his eyes, willing the horrible images of the past to go away, and vanished. But unsuccessfully, unable to make them disappear. Every night it still visits, it continued to linger even though three years had already elapsed.

He shook his head. His lips trembling as hot tainted tears started to flow from his eyes. "Or maybe, if I wasn't such a fool by then maybe you were still here with me. Alive."

His face rigged with regret, he clenched the platinum rings in the palm of his hand. These metal bands were supposed to be a symbol of their love, it still does. But just like the two sides of yin yang there's light and darkness. In a way, these rings, brings back painful memories. Brandon wiped the tears that splashed through his cheeks furiously with the back of his fist.

He looked into the nothingness, "It's my fault. I should have been the one dead, if you didn't choose to protect me, instead of yourself."

"If only, I could turn back the time, I'll do anything, hell. I am even willing to sell my soul to the devil, if I had to just to have you here with me, alive. Is that too much to ask?" His anger had clearly ebbed from his voice.

"Life is meaningless without you in it."

"Courtney" he breathed.