Evening Moon: The Saga Continues (Sequel to Evening Sun) [ON HOLD]

Chapter Three - Arguments

Evening Sun

Chapter 3

Arguments

I decided to take my anger out on Jacob Black.  Whenever I thought of his name, it made me want to puke, scream, and cry, all at the same time.  My emotions were flaring, and I didn’t need Jasper to help me this time.  I had to confront Jake, let him know how much he hurt his ‘imprint.’  

How can I even be his imprint, when he does this to me?  He was about to sleep with my own mother.  How do I know he didn’t do the same when I was still around before?  

I reached Jacob’s house, at around six in the afternoon.  The sun was setting, and I was mentally prepared to scream at him.  I placed my hand on the familiar doorknob, and swung the door open.  It hit the wall on the inside with a bang.  I took a few steps inside.  “Jacob Black!”  I screamed.  I knew he was here, I could smell him.  His dog scent was pungent here.  

I heard movement in the other room, just around the corner.  When he rounded it, and looked me in the eyes, it angered me further.

“Yeah?”  He asked.  His body looked tense, as if he was just waiting for me to scream at him.

Well good.  He knows how pissed I am.

I glared daggers at him.  “How could you do that to me?!”  I screamed, taking another step forward.  As I spoke his face just looked shocked, and it irritated me.  “How could you do that with my mom!   My own mother!?”  

He took a few steps back, and shook his head slightly.  It looked like his thoughts were swarming around in his head so fast he couldn’t stand up.  Jacob looked me in the eyes.  “Nessie I thought you were dead, I--”  He stopped, and I watched his throat contract.  He was upset.  

Why would he think I was dead?  Just because no one bothered to come save me, doesn’t mean I died!  

I looked away from his eyes.  I would not let myself get trapped in his eyes full of emotion.  He wasn’t going to get away with this so darn easily.  

“So you thought I was dead… nice.  So you instantly move on to my mother!?  It just proves you’d rather be with her, you could have saved me from this you know.  You could have just stayed with her in the first place!  

He stopped when he heard me say, ‘thought I was dead.’  Jacob shook his head and interrupted me.  “Wait what?  Thought you were dead?  Nessie you died, right in front of Bella’s eyes, she watched it happen!  How the hell are you even here right now!?”  

I looked at him shocked.  What the hell does he mean?  “Wait what?  What are you talking about?  Tanya had me locked away!  I waited and waited for you or my family to save me but no one did!”  Remembering the horrible times in that place with Tanya made my eyes water.  I hated remembering that.  

Jacob gasped, and growled angrily.  I should have known telling him that would make him angry.  Maybe he does still care, after all.  His fists clenched and I could tell he was having trouble staying still.  He fidgeted his muscles.  “Are you fucking kidding me?!  How the hell did that bitch do that?!”  He was pacing back and forth.  In an instant, he had his blazing hot hands on my shoulders.  He was looking me directly in the eyes, and his angered voice scared me.  “Look.  Bella told me, in her own goddamn house, that you died.  She told me, that Tanya snapped your neck, right in front of her.  Your family watched you die.”  His words were spoken slowly, and he emphasized every word. 

This close proximity started to mess with my head, and I could feel it.  I could feel myself yearning to just lean into him, and give in.  But I wouldn’t let myself do that.  I stepped back, away from him, and smacked his hands off my shoulders.  “Well obviously it wasn’t me, I’m right here and I’m pretty sure I’m alive!”  

Jacob started to get really mad.  He growled and groaned, clenching and unclenching his huge fists.  His muscles tensed and shook.  Suddenly he stepped to the side and punched a hole in his own wall.  The shattering sound of the wall breaking under his control made me jump back.  

Silence filled the room.  All I could hear was my own heart beat and his heavy breathing.  

His hands were resting on the wall on either side of his face.  He leaned towards it for support, and with a hurt voice let out, “You know I wouldn’t have even dared to move on, if I didn’t think you were dead…”

All I could do was stare at him, blankly.  For a few long seconds that’s all I did.  “Oh, so as long as I’m dead you can move on instantly and forget about me.  That just makes it so much worse Jacob!”  I crossed my arms.  “You have no idea how I feel right now, how I felt when I saw you and Mom. I’ll never be able to get that disgusting image out of my head!”  My voice began to crack with emotion.

What he did next shocked me.  He actually yelled back.  In all my years, my whole life, of knowing him, I never thought he would have done this.  

He turned to face me, about four feet away.  His arms flailed as he yelled.  “Do you know that when you hurt, I hurt?  So yeah, I do understand how you feel, I hate myself for it!  How do you think I felt when I heard the love of my life DIED!  I wasn’t even there to protect you, I wasn’t there to do my job!  You’re not the only one hurting, Ness, you need to know that.”  His voice got softer at the end, but his words were still loud, and screamed in my mind.  They hurt.

Even if the words didn’t hurt me, the fact that he actually yelled at me hurt more.  

But that can’t be true.  If he feels what I feel, then how come he didn’t feel me screaming and crying for him to come save me?  

“How dare you yell at me!  Like you have any right to yell at ME!  I don’t care if you’re hurting, I’m glad you are; you deserve it!  And you know what?  If it’s actually true that you hurt when I hurt, then why the hell didn’t you feel it when I was hurting being locked away day after day and you didn’t save me and neither did my family!  Imprint…”  I laughed mockingly.  “What a load of crap!”  My eyes started to water, and my jaw shook.  Part of this whole situation seemed like it wasn’t real.  Me and Jacob arguing… I never thought it would’ve happened.

“How am I supposed to feel it, when everyone around me is saying you’re dead!  When everyone around me is saying the girl I love is dead.  When everyone around you starts telling you the sake thing you start to fucking believe it!  Shit, Nessie scream at me all you want, I don’t care, I know you can’t be mad at me for long.”  Jacob was trying to calm himself.  He took deep breaths, and forced his hands to spread out, his fingers as far away as the others as possible.  “I can’t phase… Not this close…”  He whispered to himself.

“Yeah we’ll see about that.  You’re funny if you think I an actually forgive you after this.  If I was truly your ‘imprint’, and you truly loved me, you would have still felt something from me and known I was alive!  But now I don’t believe a single thing you say.  I’m starting to think that you really only love my mom.  Oh and if I am your imprint, then you don’t love me by choice, you love me because you HAVE to.  But in all reality you love my mother.”  I turned my back to him and started to take small steps towards the door.