Drop Dead Gorgeous

Chapter Six

"This pain only reminds me I'm still alive." -I'm Still Alive, Saving Abel

~

Chapter Six

I woke up Monday morning with a gnawing feeling in my gut and a need for another hit.

Trepidation and worry swirled together in a dizzying cocktail in my mind, as I faced the unavoidable fact:

Today was the first day I'd be at school after what had happened to Camila, and there was no way in hell I was ready for that.

It took at least fifteen minutes to finally gain the courage to swing my legs over the side of my bed and face the chilly morning. I moved sluggishly to my closet and threw on a black hoodie and a pair of jeans, before scooping my blonde hair into a messy bun.

I could smell coffee and waffles in the air as I made my way downstairs, and found what looked like a happy family sitting at the table—if only.

My mother stood at the counter sipping black coffee and buttering a piece of burnt toast. My father, as usual distracted by current events, was eating a piece of bacon while leafing through the newspaper.

"Hi, sweetie," my mother greeted as a pair of waffles flipped up from the toaster. "I made you waffles."

"I'm not hungry," I replied curtly, walking to the fridge and pulling out the cranberry juice. "But thanks, anyway."

"Look, Perrie, I know today is going to be difficult for you, but I want you to do your best, okay?" she replied, throwing the discarded waffles on a spare plate. "Camila wouldn't want you spending the whole day withdrawn."

"No offense, Mom, but I don't think you'd know what Cam wanted," I replied, pouring the glass and taking a long sip. "But still, thanks for the attempt at a pep talk. It's more than Dad has tried to do."

My father, who had not offered so much as a word of condolence since the event, remained oblivious and trapped in his newspaper, jaw working thoughtfully as he read an article.

"You know he cares," she murmured in a small voice. "He just doesn't know how to show it, that's all."

"I appreciate the effort he's made," I said cynically. "I gotta go."

"Perrie," she said exasperatedly.

I turned around and arched an eyebrow. "What, Mom?"

She sighed and pushed her scrambled eggs around on her plate. "Have a good day."

"The best," I said through gritted teeth, turning around to leave. "Goodbye, Dad."

He grunted noncommittally in reply, and I snorted derisively and opened the front door, emerging onto the icy porch.

"Rob!" my mother hissed in reprimand to him. I didn't wait around to hear the argument that was sure to ensue. I shut the door with more force than necessary and walked to my car, grateful for the solace.

I savored the drive, playing my usual driving to school playlist as loud as possible in an attempt to drown out my thoughts. But eventually the inevitable came, and I had to pull into Leighton Fields High's parking lot and face hundreds of judgmental faces as they watched me pull in.

I found a parking space relatively close to the school and shut off the engine. I flipped down the sun visor and stared at my reflection. Two dull brown eyes stared back at me. "You can do this," I told myself. "For Cam."