A Hero All Along (A Kakashi Story)

A Hero All Along (A Kakashi Story) Chapter 12

The rest of the day passed so slowly for Yuuki, and everything she did was just robotic.

She knew what she had to do, and had done it so many times before that she wasn't even paying attention as she went on making weapons, her mind elsewhere as the clock continued ticking. She wished she'd never come to Konoha; her village wasn't too far away, and if all the ninjas travelling to Konoha just planned ahead and told her what weapons they'd need when they began training she could have done them weeks earlier and prepared them already. Maybe that way all of this wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't have gotten the village pissed off at her for cutting in during the sparring session; she wouldn't have shouted at one of the most powerful ninjas in Konoha-

She wouldn't have met Kakashi in the first place.

Yuuki wasn't angry at him; anything but. He'd been so nice to her; complimenting her constantly on her abilities at making weapons and at the ninja arts, too-something she had never imagined anyone would ever tell her in her situation. He kept saying the sort of things Yuuki heard in her imaginings of what it would be like if she became a ninja, and there wasn't exactly any reason to be angry at him for that. Even when she thought about it now, she still cringed at the idea of having shouted at him like that; she hadn't meant to come across that way, but everything had just built up inside of her.

She wanted him to understand. And at times-when she looked in his eyes-it felt like he did. It felt like she could get closer to him; in a way the villagers had never let her do with anyone before. He was so laid back about everything, seeing things from a different sort of perspective than most people. Straight away that meant he saw her in a different way, and it had given her hope. He was intelligent and skilled as a ninja, but almost didn't realise it, just going about his days and seeing what happened. But what Yuuki liked the most was the way he was so dedicated to those around him; friends, teammates, students...whoever. He was willing to go all the way for his village, and do whatever it took to keep them safe and happy. Loyalty at its strongest.

Only Yuuki had never had anyone to be loyal to-and in return no one was loyal with her.

Who would there be, after all? The village mistrusted and disliked her, only letting her live there because she brought in commerce and gave a service to the people in the village. Though there was Ekisha-after all, she had raised her-there was only so much she could do. Right from the beginning she had told Yuuki about her parents and therefore never truly saw her as a mother; and as a seer there was always a bigger degree of distance between most. Ekisha herself had tried to make things better for Yuuki, but nothing had worked-and she wasn't about to stop Ekisha from doing her job because of her own shortcomings.

Her customers couldn't be close to her; so many people passed through her workshop. Those who came from halfway across the world came and left, unable to form a connection with someone so far away, and even if they were from nearby, they had their own lives to lead. Yuuki couldn't stop and ask them to sit with her, have a cup of tea and chat about things going on lately. They were there to collect or order a weapon, and she was there to accept and do her job; it wasn't exactly a situation to become good friends-the need for her skill wasn't even a particularly common one in the first place. Moriko was around, true; and she was a good friend to Yuuki; giving her at least someone to talk to through the days. But she wasn't always there; and there would always be limits on how they could interact considering Moriko was a spirit.

Yuuki couldn't exactly deny it, however; and being in Konoha only heightened this fact-she craved real, human company. The kind where she could actually be physically close to them and she wouldn't just phase through their body. It wasn't a childish desire; to cuddle up to someone and have them hold her and rock her to replace the parents she had never had; just being in the same company as them without them turning away would be good enough. After having everyone in the village ignore her and not bother to stick around when Yuuki was near, she would take anything she could get.

There were times Yuuki had contemplated leaving the village; maybe even coming to Konoha to start again-to make a new start and have another workshop here. But seeing how people treated her; looking down at the box that had been with her since birth...and she knew she couldn't. She liked coming to Konoha because things were different when she went, people treating her a lot better than in her usual village. But it was because they didn't know her that that occurred. If they found out about her heritage-who her parents had been-then they wouldn't stay that way, and even being a ninja village, even with nothing being like her old village...it still wouldn't protect her. Staying where she was was about the only chance Yuuki could get.

But eventually the day ended, and sighing, Yuuki began to pack up for the night, leaving the weapons out to return to in the morning. A part of her hesitated as she did so, a slight urge surfacing to just continue on through the night; concentrating on her work and letting none of her thoughts slip through. That way she wouldn't have to feel so guilty and ashamed of all she had done. But she shook her head a moment later, turning off all the lights and heading home. She would only be tired in the morning, possibly affecting her work the next day-and considering how important her work was to her survival, she couldn't let that slip. It wouldn't be worth it.

"I saw what happened, Yuuki. Why did you react like that? That man-Kakashi-he gave you a chance. Why not take it?"

Yuuki was back at home, pulling off her overalls and grabbing a drink before she headed up to bed; when Moriko had arrived. Smiling in greeting, Yuuki had been slightly grateful; at least there would be something to distract her from what had happened today. Only Moriko had other plans-having watched the situation unfold earlier today, she was ready to talk about it with Yuuki-much to her chagrin. To begin with, she didn't even answer; simply sipping her drink and starting to walk to her room; but as Moriko abruptly appeared in front of her, frowning firmly, Yuuki halted and knew she would have to reply.

"Why? Because everyone will hate me even more than they already do. Because I'll become even more isolated from everyone around me. Because Konoha will hear and push me away as well and I will have nothing left anymore," Yuuki shot back, her face void of emotion as she said it; turning away a second later to add,

"I can do weapon forgery; other people actually want my weapons. How do I know how things will turn out if I actually decided to do something? I don't. It's better to stick to what I know and be safe in the knowledge that everything will turn out fine than go for something uncertain."

With that, Yuuki dodged past Moriko had headed towards her room, forcing back emotions that were threatening to reveal themselves. They both knew she was upset about this, but Yuuki couldn't let them show; it would only make things worse. So making herself keep quiet, she walked over to the bed and sat down, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself before lying down on the bed and turning to face the window. It was only as Moriko's voice called out softly from the corridor that Yuuki froze, staring at the space in front of her as she said gently,

"But is freedom a price you're really willing to pay for security, Yuuki? This is what you've always wanted. You keep concentrating on what the villagers think; on how they will react and what they will do, and in doing so, you have forgotten about your identity-your own opinion and desires in life. If you don't try for this, Yuuki, it will continue to haunt you for the rest of your life, and I cannot let you do that. For once in your life, think about what you would like. You keep telling yourself you can't do it, and eventually it will come true. Back in the village, you said that you wondered how life would have turned out in different circumstances-but Kakashi is willing to give you those circumstances. So choose them. I don't know whether I would be able to sit and watch you waste your life otherwise."

With that, Moriko disappeared, leaving Yuuki still staring at the night sky, thinking over all she had said. Nothing changed as the night went on, slowly turning into day, Yuuki's mind still too tumultuous to allow sleep to take over her. But as the sun rose, she clamped her eyes shut, biting her lip as it all ran through her mind, her heartbeat increasing as she did so. There was only one thing she could do.

"Kakashi-sama...I-I want you to train me."