Keep Holding On

Chapter 5

Picture of Melody Danford (Ellie's Mom) --------------->

Taking as deep a breath as I can, I grip my book bag and walk into school.  I feel every pair of eyes on me, all silently wondering if it's really true, if Gemma actually saw the positive pregnancy test.  I keep my head down and walk as fast as I can towards my locker. 

"So, I'm pretty sure that Gemma told..."  I hear from beside me.  I look up and laugh when I see Haley's perplexed face. 

"Yeah, ya think?"  I ask, shaking my head in amusement.  Surprisingly, even though I hate the way people stare at me, I don't care that people know and are judging me for it.  I'm not a whore, I didn't set out to get pregnant.  The people who I care about know what happened and are going to be there for me, and that's all I need to know.  Nothing else matters.

From behind me, I hear "So, I heard the little whore got pregnant."  I spin and glare at Alexia, who's looking directly at me, but talking to somebody else.

"Seriously?!"  I exclaim, rolling my eyes.  I can't believe I called that my friend only a month ago.  I always knew she could be a bitch, but I never expected her to be one to me.

"Um, I was talking about you, not to you."  She says, smirking at me.

I give her a fake smile and flip her off before grabbing my books and walking away with Haley by my side.  "I swear, after the amount of guys she's slept with, you'd think she'd leave me alone."  I sigh.  Alexia isn't exactly known for keeping her legs closed.

"Yeah, well as long as the rumors aren't about her, she's perfectly fine."  She shrugs, as though it's perfectly logical.  Sadly, in our school it is.  For some reason, people just flock to Alexia, like she's our queen or something.  It's sad to me, but something that I've had plenty of time to come to terms with.

"Whatever, let's just forget about her.  There are bigger fish to fry."  I say with a sense of false confidence. 

***

By lunch time any sense of confidence, fake or not, is gone.  In each class, there have been people calling me a whore and I hear snickering everywhere I go.  "Oh God."  I say, feeling my lower lip tremble as I take in the new decorations on my locker.  Some sweet person took time out of their day to tape pregnancy tests on my locker.  Along with the tests, there are notes from different people telling me how much of a slut I am and calling me a whore... people are so kind.  Is it weird that even my thoughts are sarcastic?

"Shit, come on Elle, don't look at this anymore."  Haley says, coming up and pushing me towards the lunch room.  I shrug her off, "I'm not hungry."  I tell her with a frown as I walk away towards the front office.

From the look on the secretary's face, I can tell that she already knows about my situation.  "Oh, Eloise, how are you dear?"  She asks in the fakest nice voice I've ever heard.  She's very clearly judging me, even though she's trying not to show it.

I give her a fake smile back and say, "Well I'm okay, but as it turns out some people seemed to forget that they could talk to me personally and wrote some messages on my locker.  Is there any way we could get those taken off?" 

Her eyes widen, "People wrote on your locker?"  I nod.  "Well what did they write?"

"Things like 'slut', 'whore', I think one of them was 'go die in a hole you hooker'... But I can't be sure on that one."  I respond as though it's not an issue at all.

It's almost comical to watch her face contort from shock and horror to completely uncomfortable by the subject matter.  "I'll tell Principal Cooper that you're looking for her."  She responds in a conspiratorial whisper.