[on the motorway]
"That was an intense start to our day."
"Fuck, Ferne, she would have caved my fucking head in with a Bible if she knew."
"Knew you were going for a quick fuck with me?"
"Worse. If she found out I'd lied. I told her I was on a date with Feminist Chloe."
"Shit, man."
"It's not funny! I had to spend an hour on Thursday describing her physique, personality and life story, which was hard, seeing as I'm gay and I don't care for her cup size!"
"They wanted you to tell them her bra size? I AM LAUGHING AT YOUR PAIN."
"I made a mistake falling for you. Now I have to sit in your shitty car for two hours, listening to your equally shitty voice taunt me, and that's even before we get there."
"Who said you'd be listening to my voice?"
"No. Ferne. Please. Don't do it. Not the death metal. Please."
"Who said it was death metal?"
"No. You did not."
"Sing along, Charlie. I know a fag like you knows the words."
"THIS SONG IS FOR LESBIANS?"
"So? Still has the same message. Two guys singing a song meant for lesbians."
"That's gay."
"Exactly."
"Don't wink at me."
"Shut up! It's my line! I'M GAY-"
"I'M REALLY GAY-"
"I'M SUPER DUPER GAY-"
"I'M GAYER THAN A RAINBOW-"
YOU ARE READING
Ass Milk
Short Story"So, how did you know you were gay?" "One day, I was walking and a rainbow tumbled from the sky and onto my head. Consequently, my brains fell out and I forgot what a vagina was. So, suddenly, when I accidentally walked into a changing room and tho...
