Dear Mom

January 22, 1998

The picture on the side is me, the bros, and mom havin fun at Solana Beach

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January 22, 1998

Dear Mom,

            I woke up and the house was empty. Even the boys are gone. I’m laying down on the couch, giving up my search for you. Call me lazy, I don’t care. My legs are tired of trying to find you in this massive house. They aren’t used to its size; they’re still used to Grandma’s one story house. My legs become numb, making me even more upset. I can feel the rage inside of me building up when the front door swings open. Instinctively, I scream.

            “And that’s the family pet--- Katherin,” you laugh. Some strange lady that I’ve never met before smiles brightly at me. Her eyes twinkle, and the corners of her lips rise higher than a mountain. They climb all the way up, without slipping at the peak. Immediately, I like her. I jump up from off the couch and energetically sprint to the door.

            I politely stretch out my hand and introduce myself, trying to make up for our rude introduction. Thanks for that--- mom. The short, kind-looking woman grins in response. Her lips part to answer.

            “Hi! My names Debby…” She trills excitedly. I raise my eyebrows a slight bit and send her a shocked look. I’ve never seen someone so… so outgoing. It’s intriguing.

             I’m puzzled for a few moments, but then I begin to absorb her energy. It makes me want to run for miles and come back still pumped with adrenaline. Debby smiles at me one more time and then follows my mom into the living room. I remain still for a moment, letting myself relax, before spinning around to follow you and Debby. I stare at my feet as I walk, wondering who the woman is.

            We reach the couch, which is located in the center of the living room, and Debby sits down beside you. You wipe your butt before taking a seat, making me snicker. I settle with the recliner, which is a few feet to the left. Kicking my feet back and forth in mid-air, I wait for someone to say something, to start a conversation. Mentally, I hear crickets.

            They fill in the quietness of the awkward moment. I uncomfortably gaze up at the ceiling, counting the cracks in its surface. Laughing to myself, I think about how you caused them. The ceiling can’t hold your weight, especially with all the stomping around you do. I’m amused with the inside joke, until the awkwardness grows over me again. The tension just keeps building up until Debby finally breaks the silence.

            “I’m your new babysitter,” she says cheerfully. Her voice is soft, yet enthusiastic. It’s unique. It makes me feel like I’m laying on my back, floating down a river, and letting the current carry me away. I just want to enjoy its flow for a while, without stopping to waste the moment. But of course, I have to reply.

            “That’s cool. Mom never told me anything about you,” I grunt accusingly, rolling my eyes and turning to glare at you. You just smirk. Debby senses the fierce contention between us and shifts in her seat, nervously looking around. Things get uncomfortable again so I decide to leave. I conclude that I don’t even want to be in the same room as you.      

            Slamming the door to my bedroom behind me, I stomp to my bed. As I lay down, staring up at the ceiling, I wonder why I even need a babysitter. I’m eight years old; babysitters are for babies. I bet you’re doing this as another one of your sick jokes. And I don’t know how just yet, but I’m going to get you back…

                                                                                                            Love, Hate, Katherin