Just One Step (A One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chapter Seven: Goddamn Heels

Niall carried me up to Tay’s apartment. I cried the whole way. I couldn’t believe just seeing him and Jenna could ruin my whole night, but it did. He took me into the guest bedroom and sat me down on the bed.

“Do you want to talk?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I said, I was still slurring my words. “ButIwanttochangeoutoftheseheelsfirst,”

“Go ahead,” he said. I walked into Tay’s room, leaving Niall sitting on the bed in the guest room. I went to her closet and grabbed a pair of PJs. Just a tanks top and shorts, nothing special. I went I took off the shorts, the leggings and the shirt. I couldn’t get my drunken fingers to the goddamn heels off. They were the kind that laced up and I was having untroubled undoing Tay’s tight bow.

 I eventually gave up. I walked, more like stumbled, into her bathroom. I was going to wipe the make up off of my face. I wiped it off with a washcloth that was sitting on the sink. I just couldn’t believe him. Or her. Jenna used to be my best friend. I started sobbing again. I looked around the bathroom and saw Tay’s shaving razor. I hadn’t cut for 5 weeks. Did I really want to start this again? No, I didn’t want to, but I sure as hell needed to. I reached over and grabbed it. I pushed it into my arm and winced at the pain, but I felt better.

I ran my fingers over the scars from when I had cut before, and watched as a little bit of blood trickled from the cut I had just made. I was still upset. Maybe if I did it again. Yes. I picked the razor again and placed it on my arm.

“Dani?” a voice asked behind me. I turned and saw Niall standing in the doorway. He looked shocked and confused. I calmly set down the razor and then bolted past him, running for the guest room, but in my drunken stupor and my goddamn heels (curse you Tay Winsdor!) I fell in the doorway instead of making it to the bed. I was still crying. Niall picked me and laid me down on the guest bed. He laid down next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and I continued to cry.

“Dani?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said my voice shaking.

“Can you tell me? From the beginning, like when did this,” he gestured to my arm. As he did he noticed the quantity of the scars. It was a lot. “Shit,” he whispered quietly. “Can you tell me what happened, I want to understand,” he said, holding me tight and looking right at me. “So I can try to help.”

Maybe it was his accent. Maybe it was because I was drunk. But I think it was because he said ‘try.’ Everyone before said that they ‘were going to help.’ The only person, who ended up helping me, was Tay. At least this boy was admitting that he might fail.

“Do you want the abridged version, or the whole fucking thing?” I asked him quietly.

“We have all night,” he said. “Why don’t you get it off your chest.”

“Alright,” I said, and took a deep breath trying to stop crying. “It started when I was eight, “ I paused, most people wanted to say something when I said it started when I was eight, but Niall didn’t, he just looked at me. “Not the cutting, just the problems. My parents were killed in a car accident. I’ve lived with my grandparents ever since. When I was 15 my grandmother got diagnosed with cancer. I got really depressed, ‘cause she had always been like a mom to me, but then I met James. He helped me out. We started dating,” I took a deep breath. “For two years. Then he broke up with me, and apparently he had been cheating on me with my best friend, Jenna.” I started crying again. “So I started cutting. I can’t explain it, but just being able to control the pain, instead of just having to experience it. Tay helped me stop, and I haven’t done it for 5 weeks,” I was really crying now. I leaned in to him. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

“I’m unloading all my problems,” I said through tears.

“It’s okay, I would rather have you talk through them then cut,” he said.

“Okay,”

“So what happened tonight?” he asked.

“I saw him.” I said. “At the end of the bar. He was making out with Jenna. I don’t even like him anymore; it’s just the fact that he doesn’t care. I don’t mean like that every guy I ever date should just follow me around like lost puppies, it’s just that he helped me so much and then went and made me worse. He took my best friend from me…” I trailed off.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You should get some sleep though.”

“Yeah,” I said. I had stopped full out crying but a few tears still trickled down my cheek. I reached down and tried again to take off the heels.

“Need a hand with that?” he asksed.

“Y-Yeah,” my voice still faltering. I sat up, and moved down toward the edge of the bed, so that my feet were hanging over the edge. He knelt down and slowly undid the tight knots Tay had made earlier that day. He slowly stood up, staying close to me as he did. He looked right into my eyes. I stared right back. He leaned in and tilted his head, ever so slightly.

And then, we were kissing. It felt amazing, and I was sure now, after what had happened tonight, that I did like Niall, but I wasn’t ready. I was still hurting. And what if it was that I didn’t really like Niall and this was just my rebound. If I didn’t like Niall like that, I still liked him as a friend and I don’t want to ruin that.

Or is it already ruined? We were kissing weren’t we?

“Niall,” I said pulling away. “I really, really like you, but I can’t do this.”

“I understand,” he said, but his face saddened. “Anything else you want to talk about?”

“No, you head most of it.”

“Alright, well let me clean up that cut of yours and then I’ll get going, the boys will be wondering where I am,”

He left for a moment and came back with a wet washcloth and some bandages from the bathroom. He put the washcloth on my arm and wiped up the blood that was smeared around. I winced.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine,” He continued to wipe until he was satisfied. Then he placed one of the bandages over the cut.

“Thank you,” I said.

“It’s nothing,” he said, but it wasn’t. The fact that he stayed and didn’t freak out, at least on the outside, was amazing.

“I should get going,” he said turning to leave.

“Can you stay?” I asked. He looked back at me. “Please?”

“Sure,” he said. He took off his shoes and shirt so he was just in his jeans. “Do you mind?” he asked me gesturing towards his pants. “If I’m gonna sleep, I won’t be able to in jeans, and I have nothing to change into,”

“It’s fine,” I said rolling over on the bed and getting comfortable beneath the covers. A few seconds later, Niall climbed in next to me. He lay down next to me, and wrapped his arm around me. I smiled, and then drifted off to sleep.

A/N: Sorry it's so short, but I needed to get it in here. Anywho, thanks for reading!

Jess