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| 7 | I Don't Owe You Anything |

I woke up before Sebastian that next morning, I usually did if I spent the night at his place or he at mine. His kitchen had been fairly empty other than food that could be microwaved or just stuck in the oven without any preparation when we started dating, but I was slowly convincing him that cooking wasn't that bad and gotten him to buy some pancake mix and chocolate chips along with a bag of frozen sausages so he wasn't just eating the crappy frozen box meals all the time.

After I got up and woke up enough to function like a somewhat normal human being, I got the only two pans in the kitchen out to make chocolate chip pancakes and sausage for breakfast.

"I thought I heard you cooking out here," Sebastian remarked as he walked into the kitchen, his hair a scruffy mess as he stood there in his flannel shorts and white wife beater tank top.

"I figured you'd want real breakfast because I'm here today," I replied.

"I would've been fine with microwave scrambled eggs," he grinned, coming up behind me and hugging my waist, his head on my shoulder.

"I can't stand scrambled eggs, especially microwave ones," I laughed.

"I like your pancakes," he said, "But not as much as I like watching you make your pancakes," he smirked, kissing me on the cheek.

"Why thank you," I smiled.

"But you could totally take a break now that that pancake on the burner is done," he said, pulling me in close, "If you catch my drift," he smiled, kissing my lips.

"I'd rather eat," I laughed somewhat nervously.

"But Olivia," he whined.

"I-I can't Sebastian," I sighed, moving the pan off the burner.

"You could when we came home from the bar," he remarked.

"I wouldn't have done that sober," I sighed, "I'm sorry, I, it's just, I don't know."

"So you're saying you don't want to sleep with me?" he asked, his tone changing.

"Not now, it's just, I want to wait, I don't know," I sighed, running my hands through my hair trying to think of what I could possibly say to fix things.

"I thought you were into me," he sighed.

"I am!" I replied, "I'm into you Sebastian, you're amazing and I couldn't ask for anything more, this is what I wanted, what I needed. I just don't want to have sex right now, okay?"

"Why not?" he asked, "Seriously, do you even have a good reason to say no?"
"I don't want to and that should be a good enough answer," I said through gritted teeth, "It's my decision to make as much as it is yours and you know it."

"Give me the damn reason and I'll forget about it," he snapped.

"I don't owe you an explanation," I said, shaking my head.

"Yes you do!" he exclaimed.

"I do not!" I yelled in return.

"Just tell me, damn it," he snapped.

"I'm scared!" I exclaimed, tears running down my face, "There, I said it. I'm fucking scared!"
"Of what?" he asked with a haughty laugh.

"Of getting that close to someone, that attached," I replied, "Because the last time I did, I ended up with my heart broken and things didn't work out."

"So you're never sleeping with anyone again?" he asked.

"I don't know, but it's my choice whether I want to or not," I said, "Just like it's my choice to leave," I said, walking past him and walking back to his room to grab my things.