Still Waters

Just as I had always thought it would be.

NB: This is a companion piece to the previous poem, ’I didn’t want this’.
This poem shows the more positive side of the argument.

The softly spoken words I still recall.
It was not in the least as I had feared,
but fitting and in keeping with my life.
A chance to say goodbye to those I loved.
My chosen way to say my last adieu.

Just as I had always thought it would be.

I thank you for the life you gave to me,
the fun, the games, the holidays in Spain,
the country walks in the freshening rain,
our children’s joys and fears and bedtime tears –
we shared together the joy and the pain..

Just as I had always thought it would be.

And in the end it was those little things,
all those myriad soft comforts of home.
Flat screen TV, the dog gnawing a bone,
the John Lewis sofa, my soft down bed,
with family and friends sitting at the head.

Just as I had always thought it would be.

But more than this – time to reflect, a time
to archive the many thoughts in my head.
History retrieved as the future recedes,
all thoughts and ideas in cristaline view,
a telescopic vision, brought to a head.

Just as I had always thought it would be.

The ultimate sadness is always there,
that moment of parting forever from life.
But also release from sorrow and strife
a soft acceptance and gradual decline,
and a loving kiss from a loving wife.

Just as I had always thought it would be.

Now that it is done, I look down and smile–
the worry, anguish was it all worthwhile?
I’d had a good life, I’d died as I’d lived,
surrounded by family and friends I loved.

Just as I had always thought it would be.