Letters From The Dead

Chapter 4

It had to be a fluke.

I just sat there, frozen, staring at my phone screen with my mouth hanging open as Eric continued to pester me about this party that I didn’t want to go to. Slowly, his voice faded into just background noise as I blanked out everything around me. Maybe it was just some old email that I hadn’t noticed.

But the date said today, and the time was five minutes ago.

A glitch? It only uploaded now? Am I going insane? I have to be imaging this. I mean, come on, here I gave a slightly hysterical laugh, there’s no way my dead best friend could be sending me emails. That’s unrealistic. Impossible.

I let out another hysterical laugh, finally alerting Eric to the fact that I’d long since stopped paying attention to him. He pouted at me and I gave him a weak smile.

“What’s up?” He questioned after taking in the deranged look that was probably on my face and I shook my head silently. There was no way I was telling him about this. I wasn’t planning on telling anyone, much less Eric of all people. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good friend and all, but he was way too laid back for me to go all emotional girl on him.

I didn’t once stop staring at the screen of my phone, even after it blacked out automatically after the three minute wait for it to lock on its own. The bell rang and I almost didn’t hear it, but Eric prodded me in the arm and waited for me to grab my bag before walking out of the classroom with me, chattering about someone or something as I continued to gape at my phone screen.

Eric lead me carefully to my mother’s car and smacked me on my back in a move that looked like an affectionate pat on the back but was really a jolt into real world once more.

I shot him a grateful look as he walked away, his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans like the nerd that he secretly is. Even though he had no idea why I was being spacier than usual, he made sure that I didn’t act that way around my mom. And for that, I was grateful.

Feeling eyes on the back of my head, I glanced around the parking lot of my school, blinking a couple times in efforts to stay in this dimension at least until we got home.

I didn’t see anyone looking at me so I shrugged and climbed into the car, closing the door behind me and telling my mom vaguely that I’d had a nice day at school as we drove away.

*

Hey Halley,

I know that you’re more than a little upset with me for leaving without even a proper explanation, but you have to try and understand that I had to. I was never going to heal and get better, and things just got worse with every passing day. There were times that I thought it was going away, but those grew fewer and farer between.

I know you haven’t told anyone what’s going on, and you’re sitting there feeling alone because no one is willing to help the girl with the sad eyes. And don’t even bother denying it—you have incredibly sad eyes. You just look so depressed all the time, even when you’re smiling.

I’m writing you this letter now, to tell you that you need to open up. Tell your parents, tell Eric, tell anyone who you pass in the hallway. It will actually make you feel better that you’re not the only one who knows.

This is my first letter to you, but it won’t be the last.

I love you, Hal.

Deidre.