Please, Don't ( On Hold )

Chapter 1

I gazed out of the window at the multicoloured leaves covering the ground outside. My eyes blurred over as the stare intensity increased. My pupils refocused as my eyes found a tall boy following the path to the school’s maths block. I inspected him as he trailed on.

His hair was black, or appeared that way, as there was about 30ft or so between us. I witnessed how he pulled his large, black coat closer to his body and dug his bare hands into the grey scarf around his neck, attempting to save them from the bitter cold that England threw at us every year. I couldn’t make out his face as he was too far away from me now, entering through the door to the maths department.

As he disappeared, I redirected my gaze to the trees, once again, and sighed. I could faintly hear my teacher reaching the end of his hour-long lecture about what we were expected to achieve this year. Just another explanation of what we hear every year from every teacher.

I couldn’t bring myself to listen as he droned on about the first homework we had to do. I wasn’t going to do it anyway.

“Class, dismissed.”

That was my signal to rise to my feet and collect my bag from under the table. I walked swiftly and soundlessly out of the room among my peers, barely avoiding oncoming students. I continued down the hall until I reached my locker, glad that it was so close. Placing the books from my earlier lessons into the small space, I closed the dull grey door with a click.

Looking around me, I realised I was the only one left in the corridor. Everyone else had scattered to meet his or her friends for the lunch hour. I started down the hall in the direction of the library, where I had decided to spend my lunch hour this year.

I turned to my right, my nickname echoing off the walls, to see Georgia. I turned back to the way I was walking and continued on.

“Ro!”

I couldn’t find it in me to ignore her a second time, so I stopped and waited for her to say something. I heard her footsteps coming closer and she walked to where I was standing and around until she was standing directly in front of me. I looked up from my plain, black shoes into deep blue eyes. They watered as she stared at me.

I didn’t want to see my best friend cry. We had been friends since we were 4 or 5 and had been inseparable ever since we met in year 1. We had been through everything together: first boyfriends, first sip of alcohol, first broken bones, first school dance, her father’s death.

Her father died in a car crash on the way to work 4 years ago when Gee and I were only 12. It came as such a shock that her family were in pieces, as you would expect. Being so close to them, it hurt me too, and my parents. I sat with her for 2 weeks in her room, to comfort her, never leaving. We grieved together and got through it together. Those few months, I grew up so much. I used to hate how Georgia would be fine one minute then breaking down the next. I struggled to cope with it, but knew I had to, in order to get her through it, and I succeeded.

However, after that night in the holidays, I couldn’t find it in me to talk to her. Well, I’ve been ignoring everybody. I feel sick whenever I think about it, and every time I look at myself, I remember what he did to me. She wouldn’t want a friend like me any more.

“Talk to me, please.”

The desperation in her tone hurt as I made my decision.

I turned around fully, and walked away.

My feet didn’t hesitate as they took me to the library, but I swallowed the increasing lump in my throat. She didn’t call out for me again, which was for the best. However, I couldn’t help but be furious with myself for completely ignoring her like that. She didn’t deserve it, but I knew she would try to support me, and I don’t deserve her.