986 (Complex Series, #1)

Chapter Twenty-Four

The words disappear from the screen, before they can fully sink in. My knees give out and I hit the floor.

That’s why she wasn’t at my Renewals. I killed her. I killed the Official who risked her life multiple times to save me.

She gave back my MCC.

She hid the napkins.

She told me her Official number.

She became my P.O.

She hid my bruise with makeup.

She told me her name.

I did nothing in return.

I only killed her.

Piper runs towards me. “Brinn? What’s wrong?”

I can only shake my head. They don’t understand. I never told them about Dawn and all she’s done for me. How can I tell them now? I have to, don’t I?

Josh and Sienna join us. Piper sits next to me on the floor.

Josh says, “It’s okay, Brinn, you didn’t mean to kill that Official. It’s okay.”

A sob escapes my lips. It’s so much more than simply killing an Official. It was Dawn.

Piper asks, “Was it something in that message? Josh, do you know who Dawn is?”

I raise my watery eyes to see Josh shake his head no. Only I know who she is. I’m going to have to explain to them how often I lied to them and kept Dawn a secret from them. Will they trust me afterwards?

I need to tell them. Now. I can’t let this secret go on a second longer.

I sniff, “I knew who Dawn was. She…” I take a shaky breath, “she was my Renewal Official.”

“How do you know her name was Dawn?” Piper frowns.

“She told me. She was the exact opposite of what an Official should be.” Now that I’ve started explaining, I can’t stop. I stare at my hands, too afraid to look at their faces. I continue, my words becoming quicker, “The first night, when I lost my MCC, I didn’t find it. My Renewal Official returned it to me.”

I list the rest of the small little things she’s done to save me from the Unknown. I list all the times I’ve lied to them, or covered up the truth.

When I finish, I dare to glance up. My face crumples when I see their expressions. Disbelief. Distrust. Confusion. They don’t understand.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Piper’s voice is weak with betrayal.

I don’t know how to explain my actions. “At first I didn’t understand it myself. I thought maybe it was a trap of the Heads. After more time passed and more things happened, I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know how to explain that I’d been keeping a secret from you. I wasn’t planning on keeping it a secret forever, I just…”

Even I know how pathetic my argument sounds.

Irritation tints Josh’s voice, “When were you planning to tell us then?”

 “I…I don’t know.”

Josh scratches the back of his neck, as if trying to calm himself. I wince and lay my head back into my hands, trying to hide the tears.

I’ve betrayed everyone who was here to help me.

Sienna says, “I can’t say I understand why you didn’t tell us, but we need to move on.”

Piper nods, “Yeah, you’re right. We have more important things to worry about. Is this all that’s going to happen for the meeting? Do we go back to our room now or are we waiting for something?”