Of Mars And Men

Part 3 - The Importance of a Strong Work Ethic

President Wormsley watched the television screens in nervous anticipation. The launch seemed to be running smoothly as far as he could tell, but he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was about to go horribly wrong at any second. He studied the screen intently. The rocket was still in view, blazing across the sky. Suddenly he saw a small dark object fall off the side of the rocket and tumble earthward.

"What the fuck was that?" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Somebody get in here immediately!" Two Secret Service agents entered the room. President Wormsley looked up at them. "Not you! Go get somebody important!"

Soon the Vice President and several cabinet members had gathered in the room. By this point the rocket had disappeared from view into the atmosphere, but President Wormsley rewound the videotape of the launch to the point where the object had fallen off the rocket.

"What IS that?" President Wormsley asked again. "Is that valuable equipment breaking off the rocket? Is something about to go horrendously wrong here?"

Everyone shrugged their shoulders stupidly until someone suggested they should call NASA. President Wormsley immediately picked up the phone and hit the speed dial button.

"Hello?" a voice said.

"This is President Wormsley. Who am I talking to? This isn't the janitor, is it?"

"No sir," the voice replied. "This is Ned. Special Projects coordinator. How can I help you?"

"Did something go wrong during the Mars launch, Ned?"

"Uh, I don't think so," Ned replied. "Why do you ask, sir?"

"Because I saw something fall off the fucking rocket!" President Wormsley shouted into the phone.

"Hold on, we'll check the video." The phone went silent.

After what seemed like an eternity someone came on the line again. "Hello?"

"Ned?" President Wormsley asked.

"No, this is Ted," the voice said. "I'm NASA's Video Expert. We've blown up the picture sir, and you'll be happy to hear that what you saw falling was nothing valuable at all."

"What was it?"

"Well, it seems that Carlos the painter hadn't quite finished painting the American Flag on the side of the rocket when it blasted off. He was still working on it during the launch. The task was supposed to be done two weeks ago, so this is really reflective of a poor work ethic on his part. He was always saving everything for the last minute."

"Okay, thank you Ted," President Wormsley said. "Just as long as nothing screwed up in the launch."

"We can assure you eighty-three percent that nothing went wrong whatsoever, sir," Ted said cheerfully and hung up the phone.