Suicide Note - {Suicidal Louis} Short Story

No Love For Louis

*When you realize it's to fucking late to take back anything in your life.
You just decide to end it.*

-

Lucky for me my mom was nowhere to be found at home, I wanted to be alone at this point. I'm pretty sure she was out on the streets giving away the last little bit of money we did have for drugs. I looked around my house still crying, sad at the fact that they were going to take this house away, that they were going to take me away. I eventually drop to the floor and break down in even more tears than I was to begin with.

I've been in and out of foster care almost my entire life. My sisters get a chance to be together in a home that loves them and that's all great but what about me? What about my happiness? I'd much rather be at a homeless shelter than the foster home, at least I know they would treat me right. All my worst nightmares have happened to me in foster homes and I damn sure am not going back. I've tried running away and the cops always find me, I can't leave state because I barley have enough money to buy a snack, let alone a ticket for a bus or a train. I'm just...screwed. That's how life treats me, it screws me over every time..but not this time.

I suddenly went from drowning in my tears to becoming numb to the whole situation. I pick myself off the floor and find my moms hidden liquor cabinet and drink until there's nothing left.

As the room begins to spin my mind begins to speak, telling me how everything will be okay once I take measures into my own hands. My thoughts start racing telling me to do this and do that, I smash the empty liquor bottle on the floor and stare at the shattered pieces. I grabbed a large shard and run to my room.

"I quit, I'm bailing, I'm done I finally give up. I'm sick of failing, I'm done trying to live up to the expectations everyone has set for me. And trying to explain to myself, always questioning about my destination. Fuck my destiny." I screamed to myself pulling my hair.

No more relationships. My friends are all dead to me. My head is aching, and I don't have any energy. I'm patiently waiting for the day, that I can rest in peace. And this medication is the reason that I don't get no sleep. It ain't worth taking, so I just take some ecstasy.

My life's nothing but a disaster, and time keeps going by faster. But in a second all that shit won't matter! Fuck this! Ima kill myself!

I went and looked in the mirror. "Why are you crying? You little soft bitch!" I shouted at myself. "This is the last time you'll fuck with my mind!" I grabbed the shard from the broken liquor bottle and rolled up my sleeve. Roughly going deeper than the surface of my skin with every stroke of the glass, the more blood I see.

I ran and grabbed some paper then wrote a note.

"You wanted me gone? Now I am! I hope you're happy Mom! I know you are probably jumping for fucking joy huh! Go to hell! To all the fake friends screw you all! I'm glad my death is making you smile! :) To my sisters, I'm sorry I wasn't the best older brother. To my best friend Cory ... Don't miss me. It's not worth it anymore. And to Ms. Rose...I wish we could have been that family. But it's okay. No one can save me from my own demons. -Louis"

I gently folded the paper as I felt myself getting a little weak from the blood I'm losing. I grabbed my phone and called Cory hoping he'd answer the phone.

"Louis! You never came back to class. Are you okay?"

I smiled when I heard his voice then cried again on the phone.

"Cory... I can't take it anymore man!"

"Wha-What do you mean?" He said.

I sniffed, "I'm sorry. But it's time for it to all just finally be over."

"Louis... why are you talking so strange!? Are you at home? I'll be right over there! Stay with me!"

I shook my head. "You'll waste your time. Cause it will be too late. Thank you for being my only friend...Bye..."

He started talking really fast telling me 'no & stop' all I did was take the phone away from my ear and hang up. The liquor was so heavy in my system I could barley hold up my head. My blood drained from my arms but I still had the strength to call one more person.

The phone rang but I figured she left the office cause her office phone went to voicemail.

"Hey it's Louis. I'm sorry for blowing up at you. I understand that things are probably harder for you than me...so I won't bother you again. Or anyone. I always wondered why people hated me..but now I even hate me... goodbye Ms. Rose."

I hung up the phone and tried to focus.

Stop crying, smile... I folded my note and left it on the floor, covered in blood. Somebody will find it when I'm in heaven looking down on them or who knows? The way shits been going maybe in Hell looking up on them.. But either way I'll be watching I'm waiting for their reaction..

I grabbed for the gun I left near me on the floor, the gun I stole from my step-dad before he left. I looked at it for a bit, admiring the craftsmanship and how quickly it was going to end my sorrows. I held the gun to my head, my hand shaking, slipping a little because it was covered in blood. I closed my eyes, took one..last..breath ..BANG!

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