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One Direction Rants #1

Yes it has come to my attention that there are a few things to be re-done in 1D's fanfics so I being the Sweet and Innocent Cupcake I am decided to point it out to you.

First of lets start with names.In every story there is somehow by some magical happening a Kylie in the story.Seriously,you guys we know you probably wished your name was Kylie,but right now something tells me you won't be naming any of your kids the oh-so-famous-Kylie-Jhones.  Ladies and maybe gentlemen there are other cool names in this whole freaking planet,so stop making your life revolve around Kylie.

Next rant,somehow the main character or in this case Kylie gets spotted by one of the boys while waiting in line for an autograph,but instead she by some magical wave of a stick got kissed by one of the boys.First of ,if she was really in line thers a possibility that the girls who saw that kiss won't take it easily,for one thing I'll probanly stuff a muffin down her throat.And how can he notice,when he's probably surrounded by millions of fans.Get a glance at reality Kylie you were probably dreaming.

Now lets talk about accidents,so I'm guessing when the author wrote this they were probably bipolar,cause at first she's either being chased by the boy who broke her heart or just decided it was a nice day to play in traffic.Then when at the hospital Kylie's oh-so-sweet-boyfriend never leaves her side even though she's going to be in a coma for the next 2 years of her life,seriously hasn't it occcured to the doctors that the reason Kylie is not waking up is probably because of the stench off the 2 year clothes that her devoted boyfriend wore.Now if by some miraculous chance Kylie should wake up the lines will probably go something like this. "All I heared at first was the doctor saying something about life support,then Harry's voice begging me to move or give a sign I'm alive." And we all know how the story ends.She wakes up and they ride of into moonlight on their magic unicorn.

She's poor,seriously this stuff annoys me,"Hi I'm Kylie a middle-class teenage girl with no friends or money" yet by a secret conspiracy she runs the schools largest clique and wears the latest Vera Wang dresses to prom.Seriously if thats poor I need to start to rethik most of my life.I for one always thought poor was,shopping at garage sales,and thrift shops.Oh well I guess in the last decade or so the meaning of poor has changed.I shudder when I think of rich,Victoria Justice knapsack,Beyonce's dress from a year she didn't know existed.

Make-up,ah yes today I'm going with a natural look so I apply 3inch deep lipgloss,about 2 centimeters to my eyelashes,light tone foundation,probably some smokey mascara.Wait hold up I thought she was going for natural.Kylie,Kylie,Kylie if I were your mother I'll have check the dictionary for the meaning of light and natural,oh wait she doesn't live with her parents she lives in a penthouse with Zayn Malik.Girls don't get me wrong but I don't use a lot of make-up I'm worried about were it comes from the same way Liam is worried about were spoons have been in.

Parents and relatives,yay I'm dating Niall Horan of One Direction,good-bye sweet parents who raised me to this level of maturity,who bouht me my first Cool Cats concert ticket,who got me tampoons,who gave my boyfriends the 9th degree,and all that other stuff you did for me fom ages 0-18.I don't know about you but if I ever walk up to my parents with a lousy goodbye like that theres a probability I'm going to move in with Kylie after Niall dumps her.In our magical fandom world where parents don't exist we live our lives very smoothly.For one thing if Kylie cuts her family of who's gonna give her away when she gets married.....if she gets married.All I know is if Harry Styles ever pops up on my doorstep asking me to move in with him,I'm calling the cops.(one doesn't just pop in on the potatoe Queen)how many girls can actually do that.

911?Please and please do your research this isn't America it's London we use 999,I pray for you that if you ever get kidnapped and brought to London,for the sake of your empty-as-cotton-candy-heads you'd actually think of dialing 999.I don't hope you'll get kidnaped,but just literally speaking.

Holy Kylie,So Kylie is an innocent sweet angel whom everyone loves,but yet she wears,bum-shorts and cropped shirts.I dare you to wear that in London,if you don't instantly die of cold,which she probably won't cause she's related to Jack Frost himself and he protects her from all nasty draughts. Oh Kylie do you mind sharing Jacks number with me I'm tired of drinking hot tea.All Hail The Holy Saint Kylie who dresses like a really badword.

Tours,I sang along to the lyrics of One Thing while swaying my hips to the lively beat.Yes they met whilst he was on tour they went out a lot.But I have a quick question if they're meeting on tour doesn't that mean he's going to go home someday,or would he stay forever in the country whle you decide wether or not to follow him *which means explaining to your parents*

My final rant of the day:Nerdy,why is our poor,middleclass Kylie always cast as an insecure nerd who has the entire student body picking on her and ends up falling in love with one of the meanest jocks in school a.k.a Mr.Popular,let me be totally honest everytime I hear someone say Mr.Popular or  Miss.Diva or The It couple,I feel like I'm expected to bow or something.I am a 100% nerd,but if you pick on me I'll show you what 3 years of Karate does to ones mind.Don't underestimate us"NERDS" have you ever stopped to think about what is inside our heavy knapp sacks.

Longest update so far,I think I deserve a cookie or two,and while you're at it do you mind putting those 'tatoes to a good use.Please vote it only takes about 15 seconds and commenting is like 30-45 seconds.Any suggestions on the next chapter.Love you my Oven Baked Potatoes~Emma