Holding On To You (Josh Dun) (Wattys16)

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:.:ELLIE:.:

I checked my phone to see it was almost six in the morning and the sun was almost rising.

Josh and I had talked all night, sitting on his couch.

But I had to get back to Dave, he was still in my room. Hopefully he hadn't woke up yet, but if he was I could just tell him I went for a walk. He was a heavy sleeper so he probably didn't notice I was gone anyway.

"I should go" I said to Josh who was curled up under me on the couch.

He raised his arm to let me out of his embrace, and I stood up.

"I'll see you okay?" I walked towards the door.

"Yeah..." he said with a disappointing look. He was probably just sleepy.

"You really should try to get some sleep" I smiled lightly.

"You too."

I bought some breakfast on the way back to the hostel and I walked into the room just as Dave sat up.

"Aaw, you bought breakfast" he cheered as he saw me.

"Yeah..." I sat down on the bed and we ate in silence.

"So what do you want to do today?" He asked me.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

"Whatever you want to do" I heard myself saying. What?

He thought for a while before deciding we should go check out some stores in the city.

I watched him eat his sandwish with no worries at all in his head, and was jealous.

How could he be all fine?

I was a mess.

An hour later we walked the streets in central London, I sipped on a Mocha Latte to keep myself busy as Dave tried on clothes and shoes and what not.

I wasn't really in the mood for shopping but I actually enjoyed being out in the sun thinking of something other than smoke and fire and the ringing in my ears for a while.

Just as we walked across Kings Cross on our way to Regents Park where we were gonna sit down for a minute, there was a loud noise coming from the street and cars were honking.

I screamed and jumped, pictures flashing before my eyes. It happened again.

My eyes started tearing up and I was shaking.

Dave took me in his arms and tried to comfort me and I let him.

People on the street were looking at me like I was a ghost, I probably scared them more than the cars did.

"Maybe we should just go home" Dave suggested and I nodded.

He started walking me to the subway at Kings Cross before I could react, but when I realized it I stopped.

"What?" He asked.

"I'm not going down there" I said and backed away.

His head shifted between me and the station.

"Oh come on, it's not gonna happen again" he tried to comfort me.

"I'm not going down there."

"You want to walk then? It's like five miles to the hostel"

I thought for a second.

"I think you should just leave." I was surprised by my own words, I didn't really want him to leave but right now I couldn't stand seeing his face.