Harry Moffer & the Dumbest Story Ever!

Chapter 8: What's New, Larry Dobber Haters?

The next day, Harry, Pun, and Hildegarde showed up at the football field and stared at Wilfy, Glabe, and Gomex. They were carrying their metal rakes and standing on opposite ends of the field, kind of like a Mexican standoff. (But they really don't do stuff like that in Mexico. I should know, I've been there.)

A huge crowd had gathered at the field; all of them wanted to watch Harry Moffer take down Domro Wilfy. Among them were Tarcy Pate and Junia Brown. They were hoping that Harry Moffer's team would lose so that they could expose Harry as a fraud and incite the other students to have him expelled from Warthogpox High.

Anyway, Wilfy said to Harry, "I hope you've got a back-up plan in case you get banned from this school. You are so going down."

"Bring it!" Harry snapped as he banged his metal rake on the ground. "I hope you plan to lose!"

"Wait!" Everyone turned around and saw Madame Forch running towards the two teams. She said, "You need two more people to play if you wait to play Kettle Hockey."

"I think we've got more than enough players," said Wilfy. "It'll only be a quick game."

"I'm sorry, Master Wilfy, but you must have five players on our team," said Madame Forch. "That's the rules."

"Fair enough," Wilfy conceded as he scanned the crowd. After a few moments, he selected Blaire Zomborio and Tierran Moxx to be on his team. "Looks like you're disqualified, Moffer," Wilfy mocked. "You can't even get Tarcey and his girlfriend to join you..."

"Never you mind, Wilfy," said Pun. "I've got brothers. They'll be happy to play for Harry. You'll see."

The twins Kred and Morge came out and said, "We'll play for Harry. We're Teasleys; we can handle whatever crap you throw at us."

"We'll see about that," said Wilfy. "Let's get them!"

The audience immediately went to their seats on the bleachers as the two teams met in the middle of the football field. Pun and Moxx went to the goalie posts while Hildegarde, Kred, Morge, Gomex, Glabe, and Zomborio positioned themselves on the field. Harry and Wilfy stood on opposite sides of the field.

Madam Forch said to the teams, "I want a good clean match; anyone who cheats will be kicked out of here faster than you can say Gigglditch. Do I make myself clear?"

"First team to make it to ten points wins," said Hildegarde.

"That's unfair, Lamer," said Wilfy. "We usually count to twenty. What you're doing is insane. It's stupid...wait...it's beyond stupid. It's extortion."

"Try me," Hildegarde said in a voice that said "you better shut up or else I'll ground you into dust."

The game began, with Wilfy's team quickly overcoming Harry's team by using an assorted amount of dirty tricks, cheats, and other things. Within a few minutes, Wilfy's team was dangerously close to getting the allotted ten points to win the game.

At one point during the game, Hildegarde stopped playing and said to the others, "We need a miracle in order to beat those guys."

"Not to worry," said Pun, who was nursing a few injuries that he had gotten by failing to stop Wilfy's team from scoring. "We still have the golden star."

"Good idea," said Hildegarde. "If Wilfy catches the golden star, his team will lose."

"But we only have one point and they have nine," said Kred. "How are we going to beat them?"

"I have an idea," said Harry. Everyone stared at him. "We release the gold star. If Wilfy catches the gold star, there's a chance that we could beat them."