Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
Malcolm walks away and I watch him go, wondering how I have become such a despicable person to wish sadness for him. The music fades into the background and I can feel the beat of it beating with my heart and I am just standing here with my fists clenched and with my head throbbing. I’m a horrible person and I turn to the buffet table and pour myself a cup of bunch. The cool liquids cools down my throat and I relax but then the image of Kayla and Malcolm talking flashes in my head and I throw the still full cup away, drenching some passing students. I duck under the table before they realize that I am the reason for their wet clothes.
Crouching beneath the wooden table is like being whisked away from the dance. The music and the flashing lights all disappear and I am left alone with my thoughts, breathing heavily and deeply, still thinking about Kayla and her perfect hair and her perfect eyes and her perfect everything.
Somebody lifts up the white tablecloth and peers down at me. I blink. It is Evan.
“How the hell did you know I was here?” I ask.
Evan’s breath is on my face as he smiles. He smells of punch and of donuts.
“Well, I was watching out for you since I know you would lash out at anything and anyone who touches your girl. D’you still remember Jenny? Man, you were like a stalker and you nearly punched Walter when he bumped onto her on the way to the drinking fountain.” He laughs and shakes his head. “So I was expecting that you would probably and most likely find a way to kill Malcolm without making Kayla suspicious and besides, they were just talking.”
“I threw a cup at some students,” I say, “because I am a bad person for wanting to kill Malcolm.”
“I saw,” Evan says, pursing his lips. He jerks his head over his shoulder. “Come on, you really don’t want to stay here for the remainder of the dance.”
I feel queasy and sick at the thought of pretending that everything is not going to be disastrous. Danielle is angry with me. Tristan has some problems that he might not be able to fix. Malcolm is a good guy and I hate him for it. Kayla doesn’t know I exist. And Evan probably doesn’t care.
“Whatever,” I mutter and push myself out of the table. The lights and the music all go up in again and my head fucking hurts. I rub my eyes as Evan gets more punch and some donuts.
I stop rubbing my eyes and I search the place for a glimpse of Kayla or Danielle even because I am so bored and there is nothing to do. Then all of a sudden, Sarah Bell, our student president suddenly takes the microphone from the singing band and gives us a mischievous grin. Everybody looks up, confused.
“Alright, I want everybody to dance with anyone, regardless of the fact that you might not know each other or they might be of the opposite sex and you have to switch partners after a song ends and if I don’t see anyone dancing, I’ll either come down there and dance with that person or I’ll force them to have detention with Mrs. Jen,” she says.
“Ah, that’s bullshit!” somebody yells.
“Detention, Mrs. Seth!” Sarah shouts and everybody laughs.
“She’s definitely abusing her power,” Evan mutters but he looks delighted as he grabs my shoulders. “You’re my first partner, Matt and no, I am not gay.”
The music comes on and it is spunky and pop and Evan pulls me into the dance floor. A lot of people stare at us as we pass and I hate the warmth I feel in my cheeks. I shove Evan’s arm away but he just rolls his eyes and starts dancing like a pro. I don’t want to join in but when I look up and see Sarah’s eyes burning into mine, I know that I have to join in or else I’m going to spend the next week cleaning the janitor’s closet.
