Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

Angel sat on the side of her bed in her dull sweatpants and T-shirt, sketching out the structure of a face. She kept her legs cross-legged and her head in her left palm, occasionally letting out long rigid sighs of dejection.

“Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posy. Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down . . .” She sang drearily, her eyelids drooping slightly. “Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posy. Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down . . .”

A small tapping at the door startled her. “Singing children songs?” Angel looked up to see her brother’s best friend, Jonathan, standing in the doorway with an amused smirk. The twinkle in his eyes made her blush furiously as Angel began to stutter.

“I—I’d hardly call it a children’s song . . .” she whispered, each stoke she sketched out on the pad became harder and darker. “It’s about a disease. Some people think it’s in reference of the Black Plague. But I did some research on the subject and I have come to the conclusion that—” The sound of his laughter cut her off. She draped her hair over her face to hide the flush of embarrassment.

 “Calm down Angel!” Jonathan gave her a playful wink. “It was a rhetorical question.”

She bit her bottom lip roughly and accidently drew a line over her drawing. “Oh s—sorry.” Angel whispered and flipped to a new page on her sketch pad.

“So are you going to the game tonight?” He asked nonchalantly, but Angel could easily see past his calm exterior. Inside, she knew that he was jumping for joy and bursting with pride.

There was a sweet awkward silence as Angel pondered. “I don’t know . . .” She finally whispered and abruptly stopped her drawing. Her hand was beginning to cramp up and she started to wiggle her joints. “I might be forced into it.”

Jonathan leaned against the doorframe with a peculiar look. “What do you mean, ‘you might be forced to’? Do you not want to go?”

Angel flinched a bit before responding quickly, “not really, but my parents might make me watch and support my brother.” After that, there was no response. She looked up from her hands and saw that he had already left.

A small groan escaped her throat as she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Why did she have to be such an awkward girl?

After a minute or two of mentally kicking herself, she got up from her bed and walked to the kitchen. There she saw her brother David and Jonathan having a fist fight in the kitchen. Angel was so shocked, she didn’t even react. All she could really do was stand there with her mouth hanging slightly open and as still as stone.

“Um . . .” She stuttered, then suddenly she was falling and screaming until her lungs burned. There was a small thump from under her and she still screamed. Finally she realized that everything had gone still and her eyes flew open.

Her face was on top of a solid chest, when she looked up she saw that she was laying on Jonathan, and he was laughing. Angel spun her head around to see David laughing as well.

Suddenly, realizing her position, she rolled off of Jonathan and walked to the counter to get a bowl of cereal. The boys were still laughing and Angel’s heart was still racing. The blood from her pounding heart seemed to shoot up right to her head.

“Hey, I’m sorry Angel, don’t be mad.” Daniel snickers. “It was just a joke.”

She shook her head and poured the cereal in the bowl with a firm grip. “I’m not mad Daniel.”

“Yes you are!” A honey sweet voice chimes. “You’re eerily quiet and calm when you’re angry.” Angel’s eyes twitched at Jonathan’s voice and a firm blush kisses her cheeks and burns the tips of her ears. Butterflies in her stomach were threatening to erupt.

Her voice was small and dull as she slowly responded, “I’m always eerily quiet and calm Jonathan.” Without pouring any milk in her food she stalked back to her room and shut the door quietly.

Angel sat down on the side of her bed and picking at small flakes of cereal, eating them one by one while sitting in sheer silence.

Once she ate about twenty flakes, she jumped up and yanked her shirt over her head. The full body mirror on her door was shining her reflection at her. Angel looked at her body. The markings of bones were etched onto her skin and her stomach slightly caved inwards.

The girl’s voices in middle school echoed through her mind. “Fatty! I bet she wears those baggy clothes to hide her muffin top!” They snicker.

Angel flinches at the memory.

In a split second, the door swung open. She didn’t even take the time to look at the person in the door way, she just leaped towards her shirt, covered herself, and screamed. “Holy—” Angel’s eyes flashed with rage, but she didn’t move. She kept the shirt over her, making sure Jonathan and her brother didn’t see her condition.

“Get the hell out of my room!” Each word was injected with more venom than the last and by the time she said “room” she had been yelling.

Daniel’s eyes widened in shock before he quickly slammed the door shut.

Angel leaned back against her bed and laughed hysterically. That had been so close! She knew if her brother saw her then her life would topple. They’d probably send her to a hospital, or shove food down her throat and force her to eat.

So close.

She quickly put a different shirt on and changed the rest of her clothes before walking out her door. A fierce glare was plastered onto the features of her face. Angel was beyond furious.

Daniel was sitting on the couch with a stricken expression. Jonathan on the other hand was hunched over, with knit eyebrows, staring at his hands.

“Have you guys ever heard of a thing called knocking?” She shouted a placed a hand on her hip and gripped it until her knuckles turned white and her hipbone was sore.

Daniel’s eyes shot towards her, still stunned. “Hm?”

“Knock next time!” Angel spat. “You can’t go barging in people’s rooms Daniel!” She wasn’t as angry as she seemed. She just had to somehow get it through her brother’s thick skull to knock before entering. If he didn’t, then he’d eventually find out about her eating disorder.

He nodded and slouched in his seat. “You’ve never yelled at me before.” His words were so small that it reminded Angel of a child. She felt immediately guilty. At least they knew not to barge into her room.

“I’m sorry” she whispered and sat next to him.

“No, no! Its fine . . . I’m just kind of shocked.” He gave a humorless laugh and shook his head. “I’ve never heard you yell before, that’s all.”

Angel gave a sheepish smile before looking back at Jonathan, who was busy examining her arms that were too skinny for normal.

He knows! No! He can’t . . . just stay calm . . . stay calm.

“Jonathan!” She said, clearly, trying to break his train of thought. “I’ve decided that I would go to the football game.” Angel forced a smile. “I’ll see my two favorite boys kick some butt!”

Daniel looked at her weird and chuckled, she laughed back and covered her arms by putting them being her back. She looked back at Jonathan and saw that he wasn’t laughing, nor was he giving any hint of amusement.

She wriggled her nose in attempt to lower her glasses, in hopes to hide behind the thick frames, but failed. Jonathan stared straight into her eyes, his disappointment was made clear. 

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