Adrien collapsed onto his bed and buried his head in his pillow as Plagg flew out of his ring.
"Why did you kiss her? I thought you loved Ladybug!"
"I do!! Ugghh, I just... I feel... Oh, I don't know!"
Plagg chuckled at the boy's dilemma, because he knew exactly who Ladybug was. He couldn't tell him though, and was thinking for the first time that he should. He went over and sat on Adrien's head, patting his hair in an attempt to be comforting. Adrien smiled a little and got off his bed, walking over to the window and looking out over the streets.
"Look, I don't love Marinette. I just really care about her... And she reminds me so much of Ladybug sometimes that it takes all of my self-control not to... not to kiss her."
Plagg was surprised at the sudden flow of emotion from Adrien. He wasn't usually one to express his feelings so openly like that, and he really seemed sincere. Plagg was having a hard time keeping the secret, and decided to change the subject.
"L-listen, uhh, let's try and finish that letter to Ladybug. I'll even help! Lemme see what you've written."
Adrien sighed and glanced at the unfinished letter on the desk. He walked over, sat down on his chair, and started to read it aloud.
Dearest Ladybug,
I̶t̶'s̶-b̶e̶e̶n̶-t̶h̶r̶e̶e̶-a̶m̶a̶z̶i̶n̶g̶ y̶e̶ I can't believe we've been fighting together for three -a̶m̶a̶z̶i̶n̶g̶- incredible years. I wouldn't have traded my time with you for the -w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶- universe. Ever since I met you, I've -w̶a̶n̶t̶e̶d̶- needed to tell you something. Although I don't know you in -r̶e̶a̶l̶- civilian life, I can easily say -y̶o̶u̶r̶- you're the best person in both of my lives. L̶a̶d̶y̶b̶u̶g̶,-I̶ -l̶o̶v̶e̶-y̶o̶u̶.-L̶a̶d̶y̶b̶u̶g̶,-I̶'m̶-i̶n̶-l̶o̶v̶e̶-w̶i̶t̶h̶-y̶o̶u̶. Ladybug, I
"That's as far as I've gotten", Adrien said, looking up to see Plagg's reaction. An amused expression sat on his kwami's face and he was barely holding back laughter.
"Stop giggling; you're supposed to be helping me! I've poured my heart into this letter! What's wrong with it??"
Plagg immediately shifted his face into more sober lines and tried to think of how to word his critisim politely. He paused for a moment in mid air and then began to speak,
"Listen, there's nothing wrong with the letter. It's sweet, sincere and honest. The only problem is, you're not writing it as Chat Noir, you're writing it as Adrien!"
"What? What do you mean?"
Plagg sighed and continued,
"Look, you're going to give this letter to Ladybug as Chat right? And she knows you best as Chat, right?"
Adrien nodded, not entirely sure where the conversation was going.
"Well, you're writing too safe! You're writing it as if it was a school essay, you're writing it as if your dad was watching you over your shoulder; you're being much too formal, much too direct. That's not you!"
"What do you mean? 'Adrien' isn't just an act; a persona I put on when I'm not transformed!"
"But it's not the real you!"
"What if it is?"
"You know it's not!"
"Well she doesn't seem to be interested in the real me, now does she?!"
Silence. Adrien's breathing was heavy and he was facing away from Plagg, his arms wrapped around his body, making him look more fragile than ever. The kwami was stunned. He had never known Adrien had felt so insecure about his Chat Noir persona; one that was literally dripping in confidence and charm. He flew over to him and sat on his shoulder, leaning his head against the boy's neck.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you. But kid, Ladybug really does like you. Maybe not the way you want her to, but in the way you care about Marinette. She could feel the same sense of hopelessness about someone that I know you feel every time she rejects you. Maybe... look, maybe it's time to let her g-"
Adrien pushed the kwami off his shoulders and tried to ignore the tears falling down his face.
"Never. I love her so much it hurts to breathe, but when I see her smile, that's my oxygen. She's the most important person in my life Plagg. I can't let her go. I... I just can't."
Plagg opened his mouth to make a sarcastic reply but quickly shut it, thinking carefully about what he was going to say for once. There were many things he could say to Adrien, one of which would probably make him the happiest he's ever been, but he just couldn't tell him Ladybug's identity. Tikki would never forgive him. He decided to opt for something risky but worthwhile.
"Practice with Marinette."
"What?!"
"You heard me. Let go of your self control. What's the worst that could happen?"
