Random Stuff

A real discovery

Something happened at school today I don't want to talk about. In the midst of my suffering, I thought, "Hey! My BFFs on Wattpad might like this!"...sooo I scribbled it all down in Social Studies class. It was the way I was feeling. Don't make fun of me. This is real and this is how I felt.

"The first time in my life I want to write, I don't know what to say.

Let me rephrase that. I always want to write, but this is the first time I don't know what to write.

I feel like I'm shaking, but I know I'm perfectly still. I feel like all my insides are shaking and exploding. My vital organs are fine. I know...I know...

I KNOW how to solve this problem. I know things. I know who I am. I know who likes me. I know my friends. I know my life. I feel childish because I seem to have attached onto every single thing in my life I know I will never get!

I feel...I feel, well, everything. I feel like I want to rip a notebook in half, but at the same time, I want to cry. Remember in Tiger's Curse, Kells said she felt like her insides turned to ash? When I got turned down at a dance a year ago? That's how I felt. Stone. A puddle. It doesn't make a difference-it's the same. I feel like I'm going crazy right now and no one knows it. No one knows anything. They all continue to go on with their lives ignoring their inner turmoil. And mine.

Everyone is crazy. Inside. They all disguise themselves and make it look like their life is perfect. There is only so much a disguise can take, though. Mine just came off as I am writing this.

I took a deep breath and relaxed. I feel better.

I will do my work numbly. I will make the same mindless reminders and laugh robotically. No one will notice.

I am disguised. We all are. And we all hide that and the fact we're all crazy."

-*solemnly nod* Tigerlily22