Unpretty

Unpretty - 12

I almost run out of my apartment, down to the parking lot and into my car. 

It’s 2:00 as I drive out into the cold early morning; driving as fast as it would allow me to the drug store. 

I frantically enter the store and head towards the aisle where some of the things I must have are stacked.

I take a handful of cottons and bandages.  I grab several bottles of alcohol and antiseptic.   

Looking around the vast space of the store, I think hard of the other things I need until it all comes knocking on my memory.

I smile as I remember what it is. How could I ever forget my magic pills?

I walk towards the counter and ask to refill my bottle of pain relievers; expressing gratitude to the gods of fate that it is actually time to refill them.

As he comes back carrying my bottle of pills, I kindly ask the guy behind the counter if they have a scalpel or better yet, a dissecting kit. 

He eyes me and my basket of supplies suspiciously and asks if I am under a medical profession or a student perhaps.

I slowly shake my head from side to side which I immediately understand as a grave mistake.

He tells me I don’t have the authority to buy those if I’m not in the medical profession. 

He then asks me what I will do with it.

Nothing I say, just asking.

I stutter and force a smile to cover it up.   

But then I realize that my smile probably looks that I am indeed up to something. 

A guilty smile if you will.

So I say thank you and grab the bottles with trembling hands, escaping fast from possible disaster.

I walk away with my basket of supplies and as I stand by the cashier, my feet start to fidget, showing my nervousness. 

I casually glance towards the counter and see the guy speaking to one of his co-worker; both looking my way with suspicion. 

Hurry up! I wanted to scream at the cashier.  Hurry up before I run out of this place and not pay for these things.

At last all the stuff is now placed in two plastic bags.  I pay for it and walk towards the exit, avoiding any eye contact with the few people inside.

Walking towards the glass doors, I catch a glimpse of my reflection. 

Only then do I realize that I don’t have my shawl on.  My hair is a mess and eyeliner smudges are under my eyes.

No wonder they all look at me like that.  I am uglier than ever.

It doesn’t matter, I say to myself. 

Finally, I am out of there; free from prying eyes.

I walk across the street to a convenience store. Once inside, I slowly scan the place.

No other customer is there but me. 

I walk straight towards the far end of the store and grab a bottle of whiskey.

I pay for the bottle at the counter with a high-on-drugs looking man who doesn’t seem to care what I look like as long as I pay for it.

Once inside the safety of my car, I carefully place all the stuff on the passenger seat and drive on towards the apartment.

On my way home I start to breath normally.  I feel no heart pounding as well. 

I truly feel like this is the best solution to my problem.

Now I can finally do it my way.

What would I do with all these stuff?  Oh can’t you guess yet?

Yeah the story might not be on the direction you were hoping for, I'm ready to take on any comments expressing disappointment and some other stuff. Bring it on! but if you love it, then I love you back. :)