"Awwh thanks Matt, that's so sweet." I said, trying to hide my crimson blushing cheeks. We just sat there in an awkward/comfortable silence for a while then I randomly said "So, does your girlfriend not get on this bus then?" WHAT ARE YOU THINKING YOU STUPID TWAT?!? YOU DON'T ASK YOUR CRUSH A QUESTION LIKE THAT! IF HE ANSWERS AND ASKS WHY YOUR NOT GONNA KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HIM!! You STUPID cow!!
"Uhh, actually no, I'm single, what about your boyfriend?" he replied. THANK GOD HE DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. Now, he's ALL mine!! ;)
"Uhh, sorry, and no, I'm single too." I said, making the corner of his lip rise into a smile.
"That's good." is all he said then his friends came to join him so they were lost in chat so I stared out my window and felt lonely again. All I want are his hugs. But no. No. His friends are interrupting my happiness. RUDE. He looks back at me, remembering I'm here, but then quickly turns to his friends. I'm not listening into the conversation but thats mainly because my head is somewhere else. All I see is their mouths moving, then my eyes go out of focus and I can't be asked to re-focus them so for a while I'm just staring into nothingness until Matt nudges me and says "This is our stop." and after dragging me off the bus, he says "Which way do you live? I'll walk you back" he smiled. I pointed to the right and he grabbed my hand and we started walking.
"So which way do you live?" I say, breaking the awkwardness.
"I live in Taggert Lane."
"But thats like, a mile the opposite way from my house!"
"Do you not want me here? 'Cause I'll leave if you want." he said. It felt like I had a puppy that was on a leash. Like a lost little puppy. I'm imagining one now. THEYRE JUST ADORABUBBLE. YES. I did just say Adorabubble. Don't judge.
"N-No, it's okay, I like having your company." I reassured him.
"O-Okay." We were walking, hand in hand, swinging our arms and just getting along.
"Well, this is my house. You now know where I live... That's kinda creepy..."
"Oh well. See you tomorrow beautiful." and with that, he kissed me. On the lips. Then he just waved and I managed to pull my hand up in a 'waving' type of way. I wouldn't call it a proper wave though. I just stood there looking like a twat with my hand up. Way to look like an asshole(!) Wow. So as he walked away, a smile crept onto my face and it gave me shivers and I just. I fell in love. Right there. I went into my house dancing and because my parents are away right now for another month, I had no one questioning me. I just danced, forgetting about everything then I heard the doorbell. I don't like it when this happens because no one rings the doorbell. *BRIIING* I hear it again. Crawling over to the front door I slid up the door and looked through the peep-hole. What? It was Jacob. What did he want? I didn't want to open the door. How dd he find my address? This is super creepy right now.
"Hello? Is anyone in there?" I heard him say. I feverishly opened the door and said yes.
"How do you know where I live?" I asked, in a strong tone.
"Oh I followed you and the blonde kid. He's still there by the way. He's watching us now. Quick. Kiss me. Then you won't have to have him trailing around you anymore."
"What?! No! I'm not kissing you!" I shouted in disgust in Jacobs face then peeped my head out the door to see if Matt was still there. He was. I ran up to him and invited him inside. Jacob was just standing there like a prick and 'had to go' soon after.
We sat there for a while just talking... Like the kiss hadn't happened. Then. My mind. Oh how I hate my mind. I suddenly asked why. Why he kissed me. What he thought 'we' were. And yes, this made me slap myself. Well, not in front of him - that's just crazy - OBVIOUSLY, I just slapped myself. Inside my head. Yup. Normal. Yeah. No. ANYWAY. "I just felt like it was the right moment... Wait. It wasn't was it? I'm so sor-" Thats as far as he got. Yeah. I kinda.. Kissed him.. But.. It was more like a snog. Well it was supposed to be a kiss. But then he kinda... Stuck his tongue down my throat.. I actually quite enjoyed it. DON'T JUDGE. I'll save you the details. Just so you know... Thats as far as we got. Don't get fucked up images. Ew. Not that you would... Would you? Pfft. I don't know. ANYYYWWAAYYY. After we did snog/kiss, he said "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" but he said it with such love, looking straight in my eyes. I froze. I didn't know what to say. He's a year older than me. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to have a boyfriend but...
"Okay. Matt. I would LOVE to go out with you! I would! Can I just give you my answer tomorrow??" I asked, lovingly, longingly, wanting him to understand.
"Okay" He said "I understand. But make sure you do give it to me tomorrow!"
"I will!! I promise!!"
"Good. I'll leave and give you time to decide." he said and he left, leaving me a kiss on the cheek as he got up. OFF OF THE CHAIR. God! Such dirty minds! I went to the window by the door when he left. I watched him as he walked away. One, Two, Three, Four steps. He stops. He looks back. Oh. My. God. Just. Why didn't I just say yes? DUMBASS. Well, now I just have to confer with my mates. Such fun(!) And now, I'm going to have to wait till tomorrow to tell him. Shit. Can you tell I'm scared?
I picked up my mobile and called Lucy. She knows the most about what to do in these situations. *RING* *RING* *RING* PICK UP THE GODDAMN PHONE! *RING* *RI-* "Hello?" a sudden voice sounded from my phone.
"Lucy. I need your help." I said
"With..?"
"Matt asked me out."
"...Matt...?"
"The one who kissed my cheek at lunch today."
"Ohhhh him yeah what about him?"
"HE ASKED ME OUT!"
"Okay Okay no need to shout."
"I had already told you! Anyway, I told him I'd tell him tomorrow. What should I say?"
"Well, you like him yes?"
"Yes."
"So why didnt you just tell him yes?!?"
"'Cause I'm scared!"
"Well what do you want me to do?!?!"
"Should I go out with him?"
"Yes."
"Be honest 'cause he's in the year above me."
"Honey look. Do you want to go out with him?"
"Yes."
"Then there's your answer! Age doesn't matter! To be honest, you'll seem cooler for dating an older guy."
"Really?"
"Yes. Now, go get him tiger!" And with that, she hung up. RUDE. (A/N sorry if I say that too much, Its kinda a habit right now :/.. ).
I woke up the next morning ready to say yes. I was full of excitement. Having an older boyfriend. Omg I would be so cool! I popped the toast, spread some butter on it, blew a kiss to kitty (My cat) and ran out with my toast.
I had finished it by he time I had gotten to the bus stop. I couldn't see Matt anywhere. The crowd was too big. Then, I saw him. My heart broke instantly. He was kissing another girl. Wait. That was Sophie!! Obviously he would choose the pretty one over me! Why didn't I just say yes when I could?? Then, he spotted me. He immediately stopped kissing Sophie and came running to me. After he'd gotten through the crowd. I tear ran down my face, smudging my eyeliner. "Jess! That wasn't what you think it was!" he shouted, you could hear the beg for forgiveness in his voice.
"Really? 'Cause it looks like you were kissing Sophie." I said, I little croak in my throat.
"No! Believe me! She's had a crush on me since we broke up! Please! You HAVE to believe me! She kissed Me!"
"Whatever." I said and we got on the bus. Well. Let the journey of hell begin.
