Lights and Camera

0.1

Zeyana (zea•ah•na)

Lights,
Camera
Shrike a pose
Someone helps you
put lipstick on
High heels
now your six feet tall
        And everybody knows who you are
And nobody cares if your heart is aching
Yeah, nobody cares if you want more
nobody want's to know
That you cried the night before

I looked in the mirror as my mascara went down my face due to my tears flowing rapidly

I punched the mirror as hard as I could not feeling or caring about the pain

I slid down the wall then kicked the wall a number of times creating a dent then a hole

I couldn't take it anymore

My life has been based off of how I looked my whole life

My whole life I've been comparing myself to every pretty girl I see

Wanting to change myself due to not wanting other people to think lowly of me

My whole life I've been forced to believe that your nothing if your not pretty

You have to be prettier than the next girl who walks through the door, and if your not make it your number one mission and don't stop till it happens

Though I've been forced to believe those things I always knew it had to be more to my life then stressing myself over being as pretty as possible

I'm sick and tired of this lifestyle I'm living

I'm sick of how everybody thinks I'm happy just because I have lots of materialistic things and I'm pretty, I mean everyone thinks that that's the goal in life it seems

But it's not, and I'm sick of being forced to believe that

I wanna look at myself in the mirror and be happy of what I've become

Not look at myself and think what can make me look better than I already do

Here I am 20 years old and my whole life I've never been in charge of anything that has to do with me.

For goodness sake, I could barely use the bathroom on my own

I wiped the tears off my face and stood up slowly from the floor