I would...

How I f***ed up and still don't know what I did wrong

So there's a lot that has been happening. I started dating my close friend, which I know is a big no-no but I liked him and he liked me, so we just tried it out. When we first got together, it was great and we were so happy. You know it was that phase where everything is going great  and you just think that nothing can go wrong. We were just getting to the ends of that stage when things started going wrong. It start out with me being annoyed with little things, like he would look at my phone and want to know what was going on but when I tried to do the same, he would hide his phone. I know he wasn't cheating, he's not that type of person. I got mad that it wasn't a two-way street type thing. Also when we would hang out with friends, I would kind of try to do my own thing and he would follow me around, constantly try to be a part of what I was doing when I just wanted to be on my own once a while.  Another thing is he would be talking to his friend, which he said he considers her to be like a sister to him, but when he is around her it was like I wasn't even there and he seemed to light up around her. I just started feeling really by myself and my parents weren't helping. I have some issues with my mom and stepdad but my dad was being a huge pain in my ass which wasn't helping the situation. So I would start distancing myself from him. I guess he noticed so he kept trying to talk to me while I kept getting more closed off. I cared about him and I still do but I felt like if we continued going out, I would end up hurting him more than I already did so I ended it. I asked him if he wanted to still be friends, he said yeah but now we don't even talk anymore at all. He kind of ignores me and that girl that he considers a sister has been all over him as soon as we broke up, she started getting very touchy-feely. She also emphasized saying the words I love you to him because when we weren't even going out for two weeks when he said he was ready to say that, which I didn't say back. I got very scared and felt very claustrophobic. I told him at the beginning that I tend to be very independent and I'm not good with commitment. I don't know what it is but I see how the relationships around me are and I don't think I can handle having someone see everything about me which leaves you open for them to hurt you if they feel you aren't worth their time. This leads me to the whole situation I have going on with a girl who I thought was suppose to be one of my best friends. I tend to stick with being friends with guys rather than girls because girl drama is a sticky gooey mess. I noticed that for a while my friend was getting more distant with me and closer with this other girl who does not like me at all. It was fine, I don't dictate what she does she can be friends with whoever, but I was finally starting to move on from the whole boyfriend thing and the fact that I lost so many people that I consider friends when she dropped a bomb on me. We were in robotics and her friend kept saying when are you gonna tell her and kept glancing at me. I just tend to ignore things like that and put on my blinders until my brain thinks that now is a golden time for that information to stick out. So I walked into Spanish and my friend pulled me aside and said "I don't want to be best friends anymore." I was just like okay, thinking yeah, people grow apart she closer to her new friend now so I'm kind of getting pushed aside its whatever, we're friends still. So then she said we can still be civil right? Which completely confused me so I sat down in my desk thinking, we weren't really doing anything in Spanish because that period only had like 12 students and half the class was missing. Finally I went back over to her and asked does that mean you don't want to be friends. She simply looked extremely awkward and shook her head no. All I can think was I had to have been a certain way to drive all these people away. There's definitely something wrong with me. All these people are no longer around because one I dated a friend, lesson learned for that one, and two I must have done something to drive these people away. So my question for this is what should I have done differently? I must have messed up somewhere to lose all these people.

*I wanted to add a note of this was a time in my life that I was severely depressed and had no one to turn to. I was going to delete this chapter but looking back reminds me of how strong I've become and not get this low ever again.