To Paradise

9. The dark side of me

Gale's pov

I looked at Rina's sleeping face, then I took another shot of whiskey standing up I looked at the plane's window but I only saw darkness. Deep in thought I remembered what happened earlier with Alexandria. Closing my eyes I had a flash of her white smooth skin her long curly pink hair her lust filled eyes and plump lips. Why?.can't I forget her?.silently I went out of the room and went to my study room opening my laptop I saw Gails and Alexandria's picture on the screen. Unconciously my hand reached out and strokes my daugther's face then mades its way on alexandria's I remembered the day she told me she was pregnant.

Flashback
Arriving home I went straight to the kitchen to see Lexy's back she hummed as she was finished cooking she turned around to smile as i gave her a blank look "welcome home. Would you like anything to drink?or would you like to eat dinner since I finished cooking already." She started to clean up I walked to her back. She had never left me since my accident 8 months ago, she'd be here all the time cooking and taking care of me even if I didn't talk to her much.

She made sure I got everything before leaving then made sure I have a warm meal after a rough day at work. She threated me gently while I threated her like she was some kind of slut. For the pass month sometime I would feel guilty, I'd cry silently and privately of how things turned out. But deep inside me somethings just keeps on making me be stubborn cold and disrespectful to her I wanted to stop hurting her but couldn't. So i ended up hurting other women.

I never wanted her to hurt in the first place that's why I choose to hurt someone else. Secretly fucking different woman threating them like trash so when I came home I wouldn't hurt her. Secretly I was still in love with her. But I can never admit it. I just kept on living in the dark side of me. When I heard her gasp in suprise I saw her looking at me concerned she reached out to my face holding it gently in her palms "are you ok?tired? You can take a nap I'll wake you then" i dont deserve this goddess I though to myself looking at her green eyes I got myself lost again. I kissed her holding her close to me passionately, gently and lovingly as I can . Like how we used to be.

Carried her to the the bedroom I gently laid her down showering her with kissed worshipping her body holding her so close like I used to after removing our cloths I positioned myself between her thighs I took hold of my shaft and looked up to look at her she looked suprise I usually just ram myself in her but now its different i was asking permition silently like I used to. She nodded and caressed my cheecks "it feels like you still love me.." she tearfully whispered I felt something tugged at my heart I heard myself say in my mind "i still do..i still love you" as I kissed her and slowly entered her gently I made love to her no biting no scratching no pulling no hurting I made love to her like I used to Looking at her I saw tears I held her hand as I picked up my speed kissing her I lids I heard her whisper again and again "i love you Gale..i love you...i love you..ahh..love you.." closing my eyes I place my forehead in hers with one last thrust I released everything in her.. too tired to move I felt her hand gently run up and down my back she kissed my temple "goodnight love.."

I woke up to hear someone gagging when I reached over the other side of the bed I felt only empty space opening my eyes I heard alexandria crying worried I ran to the bathroom To see Alexandria slump over the toilet as she heave Kneeling down I held her hair as I helped her clean she kept on repeating "im sorry..im so sorry Gale..im sorry...so..so sorry.." i carried her to the bed and gently laid her there she wrappered the comforter around her I silently Reached for her hand.."are..you?" She nodded then started to cry again "yes.. im sorry..im so sorry..i know you don't need this now..i don't even know if you'd want a child..im sorry..i should have taken contra..." seeing her cry because she thought I didn't want this..hurt me more suddenly embracing her I cried. Holding her close..i wanted to change I wanted us to be what we were before..but the pain of how she betrayed me keeps on haunting me..but i promised Id be better..ill try..for her and for our child.

I was pull out of my thoughts when i heard the door open Jessica one of the steward came and asked if I wanted anything. I told her a glass of whiskey then she said she'll be right back I looked at my daugthers face and felt angry to myself i never changed and I kept on hurting Lexy. Slamming my hand on the wooden desk I saw my hand shaking. The office door opened again and I saw Jessica walk in "lock the door" i told her she looked at me then understood she was one of the women I spent my anger with she new about this side of me and she accepts it after locking the door she went over to where I was seating silently she sat on my lap opening a few buttons off her uniform she also took her hair tie and let her brunette locks loose I looked at her with my cold blank stare she then pulled open a drawer and pulled out a condom. I know hurting this women is a sin but i couldn't i wouldn't stop the impulse .i don't want Rina to see this side of me she wouldn't accept this dark evil and disgusting side of me. This will only hurt her.