I can't stop crying and throwing up since Zoe ended it with me. I wouldn't mind but I have even started my chemo yet and I constantly getting sick. The pain I feel is so much. I loved Zoe more than anyone I have ever loved. I didn't really plan to fall in love with Zoe it happened. I didn't even think Zoe was attractive and yet I went out with someone who I didn't feel physically attracted to. I only planned to go with Zoe because I liked her personality and it was to help me accept my sexuality. I always remember an old friend who was struggling with their sexuality before and I asked her what help her accept herself and she said when she went out with someone she liked it just came to her. I thought by going out with Zoe it would just come to me and yes it did but I didn't plan to fall in love with Zoe.
"Dani, please eat something." Said Becky
"What's the point, I will just throw it up." I said
"At least you can say you have ate something." Said Becky
"Maybe later." I said
I messaged Zoe like the next day when I was sober to tell her my feelings, she never seen gave me the seen, but she changed her profile picture, so she has been active. Like what kind of parents reads their daughters diary and like she is an adult and yet listen to her parents like my mum told me to break up with some of my exes but I never listened to my mum, maybe Zoe is lying about her parent like she has lied about so much things. I just can't believe she can't ever reply to my message. I thought maybe if her parents are crazy as she makes them to be, I tried to get in contact with her, I remember I may a joined email account for us to talk privately. I emailed our joined account but I needed Zoe to check it so I emailed Zoe's original account, telling her to check it. She emailed back.
"What do you want me to check? This is the last time; I am studying bye." said Zoe
She was so cold and wow she is just pushing me out by studying, I would like to see how she falls apart completely after the Summer exams because she doesn't have to study for the after. If she ever felt anything for me, she'd will just fall to bits because suppressing emotions just makes things worst.
I really want to hack her Facebook and see if she was maybe cheating on me and left me for the other person. If I hacked her she will know and probably suspect, it was me. It is possible for me to hack her. Like Facebook may have high firewalls and very difficult to crack but Facebook has loop holes around those firewalls. Zoe tried to make out she could hack CCTV cameras and alarm systems with her phone, yet I found that hard to believe she couldn't even name to web browser to access the deep web nor black hats forums, she wasn't a black hat. I would know a black hat when I see one. She doesn't know I am a black hat, because you don't tell people you are a black hat. Becky is the only one that knows that I am a black hat. I think hacking her would make that crazy ex, I don't want to be that crazy ex.
I want to know what Zoe was up to, because the way she had no time for me coming up to when she broke up with me suggests that she was doing something. Like I gave up so much of my time for Zoe, I did everything I could for Zoe and yet she throws me away like dirt.
I just lay in my bed of days thinking of everything, thinking of everything I could have done wrong. Thinking what could I have changed. I didn't say anything bad to Zoe. I treated her like a queen the way I wanted someone to treat me.
On Monday Morning Becky and I went to the Hospital for my first treatment of Chemo, here it goes either the cancer kills me or the Chemo does.
"Okay you will start to lose your hair within the next three to four weeks. I would suggest wigs, but it is your choice. Please come back to us in the next few weeks for you next chemo treatment." Said The Nurse
"Okay thank you." I said
Becky and I left the hospital.
"Let's get some coffee." Said Becky
"Yeah, I could do with a coffee." I said
This hospital appointment was the first time I left the house since Zoe broke up with me. I have heard anything from her in almost two weeks. The Whole thing was so sudden I think she is just done with me. That night, I was lying in my bed watching a movie and my phone lit up with a message. I could see without unlocking it, it was Zoe.
"Hey how's thing's going?" said Zoe
What? Is this a joke? She is just messaging me like nothing happened...
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Beneath The Truth Uncovers A Pathological Lair (Lesbian)
Genç Kurgu"Were we a lie? Were we even real?" Every teen goes through that stage through life where they are trying to find themselves who they are really some discover they are gay, lesbian or bi. Yet they most likely have known for years but just suppress i...
