Chapter 3

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I can't stop thinking about the kiss. Her skin tasted like crisp apple juice and summer peach. Her hair smelt like autumn sun and her lips like raspberry. I need to stop thinking about her, but I can't. She's always there, right in the back of my head, ripping me apart slowly, softly.

Last week was the last filming session of Let it Be, and seeing her with Bertie made my head spin like a roundabout and I felt so ill. It was amazing spending so much time with her, I loved every second of it and I'm really glad how the short film has turned out and Bertie is so sweet. Seeing them so happy together made me feel selfishly irritated. Like they were showing off. But I guess I can't make her whole world revolve around me. I've fallen in love with a lemongrass scented goddess and there's nothing I can do about it.

I've decided to do something that will either break me or heal me. I need to stay away from her. I love her, but she's killing me. The next 5 weeks consisted of ignoring texts, tweets and calls. I put all of my energy into my videos hoping it would distract me. My poloroid of us is in the bottom drawer of my desk, safe, but out of sight. I'll just admire her from afar.

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