My name is Bee. Oh yes you probably know me from the label on your brand new vibrating hair brush with the face timing camera in the corner.
I am now living in New York City in a penthouse hotel room that I bought. Although my whole room is white with some red accents, my hair is platinum and long, and all the men fawn over me, for some reason I have no soul without a man by my side.
Today I sit in my globe chair typing feverishly on my new IPad 5. It hasn't even come out yet! Lolz Im rich :) I'm writing a romance novel about a boy who sends a girl a picture of himself shirtless with the caption: "Ya I hve abs ;)" the girl is confused about life in general since she thinks the boy is gross.
A knock on the door stops the story in its tracks. "Tinnity Finn come on in!"
"Oh hi Bee sup nup wup."
Omg it's Kevin omg OMG. The guys who inspired the character from the book who saw this coming not me.
He rips his shirt off and gets down on one knee, "marry me, Bee! I love you. And look," he said pointing, "I have abs!1!1!1!1!1".
"Um. Kevin, I don't like you. Go away."
"But-"
"Bye."
"I-"
"Leaveeeeeeeeee ughhh."
"No way josé."
"Who's José?"
"Him." He points across the room to a man hiding in my curtains.
"Oh hi!" I say cheerfully completely oblivious to the fact that he was hiding in my house without my knowledge.
The Hispanic man smiles at me with no teeth because for some odd reason he has none idk. "Hiya!" He leaps over the table separating us and kisses me.
"Oh my!" I say when he pulls away, "You are my hero!" He saved me from almost marrying Kevin.
"Shut up José you were hiding in Bee's curtains that was creepy." Kevin cuts in on our beautiful moment.
I pull a stabbing knife out of my boot because I wear boots inside my house and stab Kevin in the stomach. He yells, "Bee I will always want youuuuuuuuuuu..." Softly because he has a special skill where he can yell softly.
"That was impressive." José mutters.
I nod my head in agreement, "Shame he had to die."
"Mmhmm." José agrees as we both shake our heads and exit my apartment.
He turned out to be a cat lover so I had to kill him too.
Hm.
I might need to rethink my priorities in life.
Idk maybz.
YOU ARE READING
LoLness
HumorI have removed most of this story because many people have been getting upset and that was not the purpose of this book. (The purpose was to make people laugh) The first paragraph or so of each chapter remain. If you still wish to read this, I have...
