SpongeBob: Hi Squidward!
Squidward: How am I supposed to enjoy [your day] off if you come to work anyway?
SpongeBob: I want you to meet my new friend, Bubble Buddy!
Squidward: This bubble is your friend? [sees his reflection in Bubble Buddy's face; giggles] Well, he's handsome, I'll give him that. What'll it be?
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm not hungry.
Squidward: Well, thanks for stopping by.
SpongeBob: Wait! You haven't taken Bubble Buddy's order yet!
Squidward: Why would I do that?
SpongeBob: He's hungry.
Squidward: He's an inanimate object, his money's no good here!
Mr. Krabs: What are you saying, Mr. Squidward? Everyone's money is good here. At the Krusty Krab, we serves all kinds.
Squidward: I'm not taking an order for a bubble.
Mr. Krabs: Sure you are! Or I'll fill your life with misery and woe. Even if you quit. [goes back into the cash register]
Squidward: May I take your order?
SpongeBob: Wait, Bubble Buddy. Let me decide for you. reads the menu Hmmm. Krabby Patty, Double Patty Patty, Krabby Junior Junior, Jumbo Small Patty, Junior Senior Sophomore Patty, Quarter Ouncer Double Pounder...ohh, it's all so good! He'll just take one of everything. [Mr. Krabs explodes through the cash register]
Mr. Krabs: One of everything?! Whoopee! [applies a tattoo on himself that has a heart and the words "Bubble Buddy" through it] I love Bubble Buddy! Squidward, show our best customer to his table. [points his eyes to a table in the opposite direction]
SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's thirsty.
Squidward: How about a glass of our finest shampoo? [laughs]
SpongeBob: Sounds great! [Squidward walks off and returns with a shampoo bottle with a straw in it]
Squidward: Here's your hair care product, sir.
SpongeBob: Uhh, Bubble Buddy likes bendy straws. [Squidward bends the straw] Huh, what's that? Bubble Buddy says it tastes funny. What do you think?
Squidward: Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Think of the customer.
Squidward: Oh, silly me. I got the diet shampoo. Here we go, one of everything for Bubble Buddy.
SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, wait! There's cheese on these patties!
Squidward: And?
SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's lactose-intolerant, he can't eat cheese! What should we do?
Squidward: We? How about [you take] these patties and sho...
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! [walks off with the cart]
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Bubble Buddy. Squidward will make a fresh batch.
Squidward: What, is he allergic to bread, too?
SpongeBob: Actually he doesn't like the crust. And Squidward, the ketchup should be under the patty. And Squidward, the pickles should be on the left side. And Squidward, you should... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward...
