Waves

Chapter Twenty Four: Only a Home

Chapter Twenty Four: Only a Home

“Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.” —Sarah Ban Breathnach 

Home is where your family is. Even if you don’t have a family or don’t have a home, there are always going to be people in your life that love you whether you know it or not. Love is what keeps us going. Without love, what is life? Sure there may be times in which you feel unloved or feel that everyone hates you but it’s probably not true.

Home might be your safe haven, where you feel like you can be yourself. Behind closed doors, you might be a different person than you are when you’re outside.

We view ourselves differently than other people do. People might think you’re more beautiful that you think you are. You might think that your nose is too big, while someone else thinks it’s perfect. No one is perfect, of course.

I was scared to go home. I never thought I would say it but I was afraid. What would they say? What would everyone think? And what would I tell them? My father would kill me if he knew. Then he’d kill Cory.

Eliza wouldn’t judge me but I knew she’d be pissed. Lucas would judge me, though. He’d hate me forever if he knew. If that was the case, then I guess my feelings for him would be useless. Then I could have Cory after all. He’d be miserable but maybe I’d end up being happy.

Being friends with Lucas was complicated. He had feelings for me and I had the same feelings for him but it was too complicated because I liked Cory too. Both boys liked me and I liked them both back. I didn’t want to lead either of them on. I didn’t want to break their hearts either. 

Cory admitted that he loves me. After we got on the road, I told him that I liked him but that I wasn’t sure if I loved him. He said that he understood and kept driving. I wasn’t sure if he was hurt or if he just accepted it. Maybe he thought that, in time, I would love him back. Maybe I could. I could see us being together.

It was snowing by the time we got back to Southport. It was about nine o’clock when Cory pulled into a parking spot around the corner from home. I let out a deep breath. I knew that I had to go.

“You okay?” Cory asked.

I shook my head. “No.”

“What’s your story, again?”

“I was depressed,” I said. “I just wanted to be alone. So I just went away for a while. I’m okay. . . . What’s yours?”

He put his hands in his lap and sat back in his seat. “I went down to Miami for the weekend to blow off some steam. I stayed with Ray.”

“Ray?”

“My older cousin on my mom’s side. He doesn’t speak to any of us on my Dad’s side except for me and Leila, so he won’t go snooping for answers.”

“Hopefully, they’ll just be glad I’m okay and won’t ask me so many questions. I’ll text you and tell you how it goes, okay?”

He nodded as he looked me up and down. He looked as if he wanted to say something but he didn’t open his mouth to speak. I gave him one last smile before I took my bag and walked around the corner. 

The lights were on. I saw people in the living room through the curtains although it looked like more people than Hailey and my parents. I slowly walked toward the door, dreading what was to come. Unknowingly, tears began to fall from my eyes. I tested the door and found that it was unlocked, so I pushed it open.