Dear Jonathan

Chapter 3

Dear Jonathan,

April 21, 2009. Does that date mean anything to you? Does it ring any bells?

That date has great significance to me. April 21, 2009 at 6:43 pm was a Tuesday. It was the day I laid my eyes on you for the very first time. From that exact moment, I knew we'd have something special. The way your smile reached your eyes.. your hearty laugh was contagious.. I remember everything about you.

The first time I saw you, you were wearing your favorite blue plaid shirt over a simple black tee shirt, your jeans sagged just a tiny bit. Me? I was in my ugly school uniform. I burned that thing as soon as I graduated. Where we met was somewhat... unorthodox. Me and my painfully religious parents were visiting this new church.. apparently your family had been attending that church for awhile. That's where we met. It's only unorthodox because who meets the love of their life at a homophobic church of all places? If anyone had found out about us, we both would have been killed by our parents; me by my mom, and you by your dad. My mom pretty much fell in love with the church after one visit so we became faithful members.

She was so happy when she found out that they had a special service for all the teens. She begged me to go check it out because I am terrible at making friends. Like seriously terrible. I always attract the ones that are the worst possible people to be around. We were in the teen arcade room at "church" when you first introduced yourself to me. You simply said "Hi, my name is Jonathan." We shook hands. I introduced myself and the rest is a blur, right? That's okay. I am going to fill in the blanks.

Let's see. Where do I begin? As you know, me and you are best described as fire and ice, except for our awesome taste in music! That is something we share. Pierce the Veil or bust! God, they're so talented.. Sometimes I wonder if you still play the guitar, I know that was nine years ago but I still wonder.. I would like to think I can still play the drums, even though I'm in a coma. I played everyday until I couldn't hold my drumsticks anymore, which also was about five years ago. I have no idea how my muscle mass is, or what state I'll be in when/if I wake up. I love to play the drums. It was therapy for me. It kept me sane when you.. um.. left, so to speak. Because it meant so much more to me than just a hobby.

We are different nationalities, we have different backgrounds and different cultures. You can tell that by merely looking at us, but that isn't my point at all. I just wanted to remind you that though we come from opposite ends of the pole, none of that ever mattered to us. We were just two people on earth. Despite our differences we became fast friends.

I am going to say this, not to feed your pride or your big head but only because it is the truth.

You are one badass motherfucker.

You know that. I know that. I am boring and safe. You brought out the best in me. You're amazing, and fun and talented and I am boring ole' me. You were the one that everyone looked up to. You were Mr. Popular in high school and I was the reject who was lucky if someone wanted to sit next to me at lunch. People are still in awe of you. You have no enemies. Even after you left to go on tour in Afghanistan, people were still talking about you. You're like a god. I worshiped the ground you walked on. Everyone wanted to be Jonathan, the irresistible, golden badass.. everyone except for me because I wanted to be with him.

We were constantly in communication with one another. From 'Good morning' to 'Sweet dreams' we knew each detail of the other's lives. Even the tiniest text you sent me put a smile on my face but in reality I was still haunted with something. I was falling in love with the forbidden. I was Eve with the apple. I was destined to fall from the beginning. But you know what? I would do it all over again. I would endure all this pain, I would pine over you, I would fall in love with you all over again if that meant that you would stay with me. But as my life would have it, I was the damned. I should've known this was too good to be true..

X.

P.S I know this is going to sound extremely cliché, but I'll admit that I took one of your hoodies and slept with it every night because it smelled just like you and I needed that while you were gone. (Tough luck Jonathan, you aren't going to be getting it back either)