chapter 4: Conversation

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"Look Vivian, he's just some pathetic loser," I said with a smirk on my face.

She had her arms folded and her back turned to me. She didn't seem to want to budge.

"Listen to me, Vivian," I stepped closer to her and placed my lips right next to her ear.

Her hair smelled like strawberries and apples.

"I was just trying to help the little idiot out, you know how I get when I see people who can't even help themselves," I whispered to her.

I felt her press closer to me and my arms wrapped around her flat stomach.

"You're such a good guy," she replied before she turned to me and snuggled her body up against mine.

I returned her hug quickly. I felt such relief. I lifted my hands so I could play in her soft hair.

"I love you." The words tumbled softly past her lips, and suddenly the feel of her breath on my cheek made me want to scratch my face all over.

Now the air around us was hot and uncomfortable. Was she breathing in the same air as me? The thought suddenly made me feel sick to my stomach. She looked at me with happy expectance in her eyes and I gave her a big smile.

"Vivian, baby, you're going to miss cheerleading practice," I said to her before I gave her a peck on the cheek.

She raised her perfectly arched eyebrows and her mouth hung open as it always did when she was shocked or suddenly remembering something of great importance to her.

"Bye, honey bunches!" she said before she twirled out of my arms and ran towards the front door.

"Don't get attached to that little loser!" she called.

I could hear the laugh in her voice as she slammed the door behind her.

I winced at the noise and let out a sigh. I instantly felt my muscles relax and I leaned up against the wall so I could rub my temples. I was happy that she was finally gone.

I walked from the living room to the kitchen and grabbed one of my mom's beers. She never counted them, so she never knew when one was missing. I took a long drink of it, almost downed the whole thing in one or two gulps. I placed the almost empty beer on the counter and started up the stairs and towards my bedroom.

Michael was no longer curled up, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, reading something. I shut the door behind me and walked over to him quickly. He gazed up at me and a sad look crossed his features.

"What are you reading?" I asked harshly.

I snatched the paper out of his hands, and when I looked down I saw the neat and curled hand writing of my father. His suicide note beamed back at me, the letters still perfectly formed and easy to read, despite the months of being stuffed in my dresser. My hand began to tremble and my throat began to tighten up. I felt tears stinging at the corner of my eyes.

"How dare you." The words choked in my throat as I held the paper at my side.

I looked up at Michael and he was tense with fear.

"I'm sorry" he replied with his eyes wide and his mouth partially parted.

I raised my hand to him and he actually flinched. I stared at him for what seemed like hours but in reality only minutes. His eyes squeezed shut and his arms wrapped around his stiffened body, just waiting for me to strike him. I looked at his bruised and delicate body and his small slender frame. I felt my heart begin to pound in my chest before my hand landed softly on his cheek. My anger had completely dissolved.

"You look silly in that shirt," I said with a chuckle.

He had on one of my shirts that said "I'm with stupid" printed across it, and it reached all the way down to his knees. His cheeks reddened, and he looked away from me.

"I thought you were going to hit me." His voice was tiny and had no force behind it.

I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to hurt Michael. I studied him for a while and began to realize again, how beautiful he was. His chin came to a feminine point and his eyes were wide and expressive. His skin was smooth, tan, and perfect. I had always thought that Vivian was the most beautiful person I had ever met. I had obviously been wrong.

"You can't walk around like that," I said with a smirk.

He was standing now. I could tell that he was still embarrassed so I stopped staring at him so much.

"Why don't we go to your house and pick you up some more clothes," I told him.

His eyes widened in fear and he backed away from me.

"We can't," he answered. He was now biting the crap out of his bottom lip.

"Cut that shit out, you're going to hurt yourself," I shouted.

He instantly stopped and looked up at me with his wide beautiful eyes.

"Damn it, Michael," I whispered more to myself than at him

I reached over and brushed my fingers across the bottom of his soft pink lips. He looked shocked and so did I. I didn't know what compelled me to do that, I snatched my hand away and laughed a little awkwardly. He was smiling a bit now as he looked at the ground. I felt my heart jump. I turned from him and went to put my dad's letter back into my dresser.

"I wasn't lying when I said I would protect you no matter what. I won't let anyone hurt you," I told him intensely.

I tuned back to Michael and something about him made it so I couldn't take my eyes away from him. He was so wonderful to look at. I wanted to touch him so bad, but I stopped myself.

"Why are you even helping me?" He said in his small voice.

I smiled at him to reassure him of my words before I spoke my lie.

"Because I'm such a good guy," I replied with a chuckle though inside I was tense.

I really was ready to protect Michael with my life.

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