Beckett was home alone while Castle went to pick up the kids, she was walking around the house like she didn't know where she was going, what if her suspicions were correct? Where would they be next? Kate decided to take a shower to clear her mind, but as she was about to go inside their room, Castle opened the door and the two little kids ran inside.
"Hey baby" She said lifting Emily to her hip "How was school?"
"Great" the almost 3-year-old baby answered while her arms wrapped around her mother's neck. Beckett smiled at her and kissed her cheek.
"Now it's shower time, come with us Cosmo" Beckett said and went upstairs with Emily in her hip and Cosmo holding her hand, she didn't say a thing to Castle after he got inside, the only thing he heard her then saying was:
"Your uncles are coming over for dinner, so we all have to look really pretty" Then she disappeared on top of the stairs.
Castle sighed at the feeling that she didn't want to talk to him about something that was bothering her, he hated when she had moods like those, but it was one of the things that made her the mystery he wanted to keep solving. He walked upstairs hoping he could help giving the kids a bath, he stopped in the door as he looked to the small open space and saw her washing Cosmo's hair while him and Emily played with some rubber ducks together. He knocked.
"May I join?" She she moved her head in agreement and smiled at him , next thing he did was kneel next to her on the side of the bath tube, before grabbing Emily's strawberry shampoo, Castle looked at Beckett and caught her staring back with a smile, knowing how much they wanted to kiss each other, but not wanting to make a scene in front of the kids, Castle leaned to the side and kissed her cheek, that's when they heard the two kids punching the water and giggling at their parents' action as if they understood what had happened.
Later that night
"Sarahhh!" Cosmo ran to the door and hugged the girl they called cousin, Beckett, Jenny and Ryan smiled at how adorable the both of them looked hugging each other at the door way.
"Why don't you show Sarah Grace your new toys, Cos? I'm sure she'll love to see them" Kate told her son and the three adults laughed at Cosmo pulling Sarah's hand to the space between the couch and the tv where the toys would always stay.
"Come inside" She then told them. Tom and Jessica were already there, Espo was there too but alone, Lanie still had some work to do so she was going to arrive a little later than planned. After a while talking, the boys stayed by the kitchen while the three girls sat on the couch watching the kids playing.
"It's amazing how fast they grow up" Jenny commented.
"You say that and here I am, still waiting for her to come out" Jess said with a chuckle.
"In the end, everything you go through during the pregnancy, it's worth it! They're the best thing that ever happened to me" Beckett admitted. Wow. She thought to herself, even with what she was dealing with somehow she felt happy about having to deal with it, because the reason why she loved her life was pretty much because of Castle and their kids, deep down she didn't knew why she felt so insecure about possibly be having another baby with him.
"You know, Kevin and I are actually thinking about trying to have another one, I mean, Sarah's already turning six" Jenny admitted and Beckett felt a nausea coming, was it because of the sensitive subject or the actual pregnancy? Whatever it was she chose to ignore it and congratulate Jenny about it.
After Lanie arrived, they all sat on the table eating and talking about their lives, and as much as Kate wanted to avoid the topic, it seemed like every conversation ended up in kids or marriage.
"So... Jenny and Ryan want to have another one, what about you? When will we have another little Castle running around?" Lanie asked looking Beckett straight in the eyes. Kate knew Lanie thought something was up with her, she knew she would notice something was different, Beckett just didn't expect her friend to guess it so quickly, maybe it was obvious, she just hoped it wasn't that obvious because of Castle, anyways, the detective just thought Lanie wouldn't be cruel enough to make that question in front of everyone knowing that she would be touching in a sensitive area.
Kate looked at Castle hoping he would answer it, which he immediately did.
"Well, I don't think we're planing on one so soon" Damn it. Why would you say that? She thought, on the other side of the table, Lanie must've noticed the change of emotion in the detective's eyes after what Castle said, that's why after dinner was over, Lanie caught her best friend alone for a second and dragged her to her own room, leaving the rest of the group talking in the living room.
"Talk to me, Kate! What's on your mind? And don't try to deny it because I think I already know what's going on with you"
"Lane, I think I might be pregnant again!" Beckett admitted freeing the tears she didn't even know she was holding back.
"Why are you crying? Wasn't that supposed to be a good thing?"
"I don't know, I mean, of course I'm happy, but there's something that's holding me back to be totally happy... We already have two kids and Maddie, Emily is just turning 3 and Cosmo will be turning 5, they are still little kids and I feel like we still have so much to teach them, having a newborn now will only make things harder and I don't think I can take of three little kids and a teen all at once, that's too much, besides, have you seen my job? All those years ago one of the things that was stopping me from opening up to Castle was because of how dangerous this is, I'm just afraid that if something ever happens to me, I'll leave three kids motherless... I just think three kids it's too much of a responsibility for me, and well, according to Castle we're not planning in having any more kids so soon..." Beckett explained and her cry got stronger.
"Oh sweetie..." Lanie mumbled as she embraced her best friend. After a while hugging Beckett's cry started to calm, that's when Lanie decided to talk.
"Look honey, I know you might that you won't be as good as a mother as you are right now if you do have one more baby, but you don't see what Castle, and everyone else sees, if you could see the way you look at Cosmo and Emily, you wouldn't be feeling like this, because the love you feel for them is unconditional, and as long as you love them like that, you'll be the best mom there could ever be! And about what Castle said, don't be silly, you know him better, hell yeah, even I know him well enough to know that he would have a hundred more with you, he just said that because he didn't want to put pressure on you in front of your friends, I'm certain that if he knew you might be having another one, he'd be thrilled"
Kate wiped her tears with her one hands, maybe Lanie was right, maybe she was making a storm in such a small thing, and who the hell was she kidding?? Of course Castle would be more than happy to have a another kid in the house, just like she was happy, the brightness in her eyes couldn't be confused with anything else but happiness, because after the talk with Lanie, happiness was Kate's only emotion.
