Popular Nerd

Chapter Forty Eight// My Girlfriend

By the time I park my car outside my house that Saturday evening, the sky is a colourful pallet of pastel pinks and a warm orange, washed across the horizon. A gentle breeze sways the branches of the trees, the night shadowing the sun setting in the corner. I take out the keys from the ignition and pocket them. I turn to face Nathan, his eyes already on me.

We soak up the silence with the peaceful beating of our hearts. Nathan takes my hand in his, resting his arm on my knee. The moment feels perfect. No distractions; No one telling us what to do- just us being ourselves.

"Are you sure you're mom won't be mad at you?" asks Nathan, his fingers still interlocked with mine. I lead us into my house and throw my jacket onto the sofa, twisting around to catch him off guard, my arms wrapping around his neck.

"She won't find out," I drop my voice to a seductive whisper, the mood set by the dim lighting. Nathan's eyes follow mine, my attention far from his eyes as I marvel his lips.

Accentuating his muscles by the flex of his arms, Nathan leans forward and takes my body in his with a secure hug. My chin rests in the crook of his neck, my hands falling to his waist. "You seem sure of that," his breath fans against my ear, releasing untamed butterflies to erupt in the pit of my stomach.

"I am. But it was a risk I had to take. I never want to lose you again." I slide my body away from his, our eyes level. "Why did you leave?" I ask, needing to know the true meaning of his last minute departure. If I have done something wrong, I have to find a way to make it right again.

Nathan's lips let a sigh slip through, his eyes down casting to the ground. "Does it really matter? I'm here with you now, aren't I?" His fingers extend to stroke the side of my face. I reach out and lace my fingers with his, holding his hand in mine.

"That girl said something about me being the reason you left," I pick up on the comment I had heard before, the answer unknown to me and spinning my mind with puzzlement. "I thought it was the new school that made you leave, what was it about me? What is it you haven't told me?"

Nathan migrates to the sofa, sitting down with a weight forcing his shoulders. Evident by the decline of his eyes from mine, I know this is deeper than a simple sentence. The true reason he left must hold more meaning and possible regret than I ever imagined there being.

"You can tell me anything," I promise with the place of my hand supportively on his shoulder. The touch of my skin on his draws his attention back towards me, turning his body to face mine. I cross one of my legs over the other. "I'm here," I tell him, nodding with reassurance.

"Paige, don't blame yourself for this, but you were the reason I had to leave..."

"Had to? I don't understand."

"You kept telling me to be myself. I knew I had changed; I was not being the person I wanted to. However despite my best efforts, I couldn't find a way to be my true self, well, when I wasn't with you. Paige, when I was around you, you in my arms, I felt safe and happy being who I was. You brought the best out of me," his smile grows with every sentence, a genuine happiness radiating from his face.

"But..."

"But," he exhales, a shadow covering up his smile. "But when I realised you weren't available, I knew I couldn't be with you. I knew, if I couldn't be with you, I wouldn't be able to be myself. I hated the person I had become. So, when I remembered that the collage was still an option, I thought it would be best to leave and start fresh and to be myself in a new area with new people. But..."

"But?"

"But it wasn't that easy," his eyes cloud with a sadness decaying the once happy expression on his face.