I walked home alone and very confused. What was I supposed to think? Alix just kissed me, Niki is going to start a fight with me and Jenna's going to get in on the action. Wait. Alix said he was going to see me tonight. Oh shit! When? I have to get ready, but i don't know what for. My hair is a complete mess, but I have to pick a good outfit for him. Oh what to wear what to wear? How about OH! I know the perfect thing!
In an hour i was ready for show. I had a black dress with a few white silk partings and the usual mixed black and white socks under traditional converse; my hair was curled but my bangs were straight and parted in an emo fasion. But then i realized, what if this wasn't a good date, oh lord i called it a date, to wear such items? Quickly i changed into another pair of tight black skinny jeans and a dark grey t-shirt.
The date didn't even start yet i and i think I already failed.
It was nine at night and i decided my appetite could wait till tomorrow; still trying to lose that three pounds by Easter. The dark blue couch sat quietly and longingly against the wall, calling my name silently so i could fall fatal to its snuggling cusions. One thing I avoided was waiting, absolutely hated it, so i gave in and layed down for only what seemed like a split second. My eyelids slooped heavily and in no time my head was filled with mystic air.
"But I have paid for everything! Absolutely everything, and so dearly. Why must i have to pay such terribly high interest?"
"Now Ayla I never thought you of all people would believe you are not happy. Why don't you feel happiness?"
"Neil, my dear friend, you are always so considerate of me, so tactful, you are afraid to tell me the truth, but do you think i dont know what my illness is? I know perfectly well."
"Ayla you are not sick! There's just something in your brain making you malfunction."
"My longing possibly."
"Longing?"
I look down and whimper. "To love you with my body."
Neil looked at me quite queerly.. "Ayla... "
"Ayla..."
"Wha-?" said somewhat in my dream and reality.
I felt my body being rolled over on my back and lips pressing against mine, but yet i resisted. My hands found their way to his chest and my arms pushed violently causing the body to lift off me.
"Agressive. Not a quality i thought you would obtain." I heard his voice snarl.
My eyes shot open. "How did you get in here?"
"Your back door was unlocked."
"So you just waltz into my house and plant one on a sleeping me?"
"You liked it."
"I.. That doesn't matter!"
"It does. Are you ready?"
"I guess so, it's not like you told me where we were going."
"True, but if i did, it wouldn't be a surprise."
I hate it when he's right... I hope he knows that. "So do you think It's okay, you're majesty?" I had to be sarcastic about it.
"Too perfect my little slave."
"I'm taller than you are." Oh he had nerve.
"By what? Half an inch? You're still younger than me."
He pissed me off.. why the fuck did I think i might have actually loved this guy?!
That was the end of that when I stood up and he immediately dipped me into another make-out session. He finally released. "Stop doing that! Let's just get this over with." I hoped it wouldn't take too long, I already felt uncomfortable.
The wind has ceased and the snow mingled slowly about the placid air with hushed strokes that lingered in perception for only seconds. Each flake glittered and glinted gloomy gleams of orange glow from the lampposts. It was beautiful, breathtaking, captivating; it was almost like he knew what i liked. We stopped when a sidewalk came to an end, the road had fresh new powder lain askew on its asphault of nights plaster. Serenity. Pure. Fresh. Ivigorating. He held me with one arm around my waist and drew me closer; God he smelled amazing too, blue axe body spray.
"Valentines day is coming."
"I'm not going to date you."
I felt him move behind me and embrace me in one of those bear hugs Patrick used to give me. "I didn't figure you would say yes."
"That is why you didn't ask." I melted in his arms, it felt so good to be held again. To feel someone elses warm body against mine.
"You're going to date me whether you want to or not. That's a promise." He kissed my cheek.
"This summer.... I'm leaving." I was going to California... home of everything I wasn't.
"You will be back, won't you." I could hear the pang of worry that rang with his melodic tone.
"Before school starts."
"That's too long, I can't be away from you that long."
"You've survived years before you met me."
"I can live without you, I just don't want to."
"We must all face the facts and grow up sometime." Was I rejecting him? I was... after 3 years of looking, I got to touch... thus the fragile idol broke.
I could feel his heart beat pound softer, his strength drain, his face next to mine, and a tear fall slowly almost freezing in the night.
"Untill then I want to spend every moment I can with you." I picked up each shard and placed a bond between each, a bond that would never disolve from my words. I placed the figure in my grasp and held on dearly.
"Alix." I whispered into the nothingness that was before me.
"Ayla." I heard a whisper back.
I turned around and kissed him. There wasn't anything I wanted more to do than be his, even if it was never going to be official... nothing lasts forever.
Nothing's wrong...
Nothing's right....
But everything's the matter....
everything lasts forever in a mind that lives to tell the tale.
Memories enchant a heart when the beat is dim and time is slipping.
One tries to forget when everything was wrong, one never forgets when everything was right.
Every tear and scar could mend in time, yet thee with the mournful soul never recovers.
Take each blessing as it passes for time flies when It's taken for granted.
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Authors notes!! (dont you just love) Well there might be lines from JunJou Romantica, Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi, No.6, Angel Beats, Quotes I had no clue exsisted... and a section of Anna Petrovna's monologue from Ivanov by Anton Chekhov. Other than that... it's real...
Next chapter to be posted before ... hell idk... I'm busy packing to move and writing helps releieve stress although to write there has to be drama... :/ figures. (Good news! I figured out there WILL be a sequal to this even if I have to totally bogus it all! I mean it would still hold some signifigance to me... somehow.. )
