I'm a Monster

What do I Want

      The picture up above is of mystery man #1 except he's supposed to have black hair and his eyes are more golden
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      I just kept on running not looking back. No matter how hard that I would try, I could still see all of the blood covering every surface of that alleyway. As tears run down in rivulets I soon become aware of my nakedness and I end up blushing profusely. Thank god it's dark I think to myself as I run towards what I hope to be the direction of my apartment. I some how magically navigate my way back home and shut the door quickly behind me. I then run to the bathroom turning the shower on keeping it running full blast till the whole room fogs up.
      I face the mirror afraid to see what lays beyond the steam collecting on it. With a quick swipe I rub a small circle of steam off and gulp in a ton of air prepared for what awaits me. The air rushes out of me in shock when I see that my pale skin is covered with blotches of dried and flakey blood.
      "What the hell's wrong with me?!" I scream quickly jumping into the shower immediately scrubbing and scratching at my skin to remove any trace of blood but no matter how hard I scrubbed it didn't seem to want to go away. Deep down I may have realized that the reason the blood wouldn't go away was due to the fact my nails are digging into my skin gouging out skin, but I was too far gone into insanity to stop myself.             

Clean. Clean. Clean.

      This mantra just keeps on going through my head over and over until everything just starts to fade and blend together. The blood starts dripping off of me collecting into a little whirlpool slowly turning till it goes down the drain and as I watch this over and over again the world starts tilting and I feel myself falling. I hit the shower floor with a thud or at least I believe that must have been what happened seeing as all I feel now is the tile biting into the right side of my body. I blink once then twice as I realized what I had been doing. Looking down at my body all I see are scratch marks covering me from head to toe oozing blood that slowly swirls and swirls down the drain to who knows where. I blink again and the world start to fade to black and my eyelids become heavier and heavier. Right before they finally shut, I see a man in black rush into the bathroom.
      "What did you do?!" I hear him shout in panic as he rushes to turn the shower off then bends down to pick me up. As I am slowly being raised up I lose the strength to keep my eyes open and they slam shut.

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Darkness...
This is all I see for miles around. I try to stand, but I can't feel my body. All I can do is turn in circles and search.
There! I see something.
A red dot.
No two.
No not dots... eyes!
A person?
No.
It's her.
The one I've been waiting for!
Power!
Mine!
"It's time,"
she growls through her canines.

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      I shoot up gasping for breath arms outstretched reaching for who knows what as it's time repeats in my head over and over. I look around and see I'm in my bed safe and sound changed and... wait. What?! "HOW IN THE HELL AM I CHANGED?!" I look down and see the same old ratty plaid pajamas I always wear and wonder to myself, was it all a dream? Did it never happen. I pause, deeply inhale then exhale like a bear waking from hibernation. I'm so tired and mentally exhausted I think to myself and that's when I hear and feel something unusual all over my body. I slowly lift my arm up to eye level and pull back my sleeves gently and then proceed to start screaming like a maniac.
      "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I yell. Covering both of my arms is gauze and bandages stained red with what is unmistakably my own blood.
      I jump out of bed feeling a burning needle like sensation all over my body especially on my right side and run over to my floor length mirror and proceed to start ripping off my pajamas. I have to quickly hold on to my dresser for support at what I see. From head to toe my body is covered in bandages all stained with blood from what I have no doubt in my mind came from me trying to scrub away the blood from... from that... that girl!
      This means it happened. Not just some crazy dream my brain decided to conjure up. This is real life and I murdered a girl! What am I gonna do? I need to turn myself in! No. I should run! No, they'll catch you. Insane asylum? No. "Ahhhhhhhh" I scream and violently shove my pajamas back on cautious of the bandages and storm out of my bedroom into the living room. "I need to the call the police and turn myself in" I say determined as I pick up my phone and am ready to put it to my ear when I hear from behind me towards my creaky old couch "I wouldn't do that if I were you" in a husky voice. I freeze in place as the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. This unknown man may have said it as slow and cool as possible but the true meaning and intent behind it hit me straight on that he will hurt me if I don't listen to him and the phone slips from my fingertips hitting the ground.
      "Good girl" I hear him mutter as if I'm a dog and that's where my blood boils. I clench my fists and slowly turn around and am just about to yell at him telling him to get the fuck out of my apartment, but before I could even open my mouth he has me by the throat pinned up against the counter.
      "Nuh-uh-uh" he says as he wags his pointer finger on his left hand "Is that anyway to treat the person who saved your life and who is here to help you find out about your true self, hmmmmmm?" That's when I see and feel it, the darkness in his eyes, the feelings he gives off, the dread that shoots through the air, it terrifies me but over top it all-somehow, a deep dark voice rejoices saying "Yes more! More! We need him! He will teach us! And we will break him!" That determined voice is enough for most of the fear to dissipate and for my body to relax on its own as a new feeling of greed, lust and power flows through my body.
      "You see how hard was that? I guess all it took was a little bit of Me for it to come through" he says then chuckles releasing his grip from my throat. "You know, I've been waiting for this day for so long" he says as he faces the other direction. "I will teach you everything. No one will dare go up against you. I DON'T CARE ABAOUT ANY GODAMN PROPHECY TOLD BY THAT OLD HAG!" he shouts whipping around to face me and and cups my face with surprisingly gentle hands. "I won't let them do that to you again," he whispers. His golden hazel eyes stare directly into my own and I take his whole face in from the short black hair to the strong jawline. His light stubble and a slightly noticeable crooked nose as well as a scar on his cheekbone seem to dominate yet somehow enhance his features. He's wearing dark black jeans that cling to his legs with leather boots and a black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows revealing tattoos on each of his forearm: on the right side a full moon with chains wrapped around it and on the left a blue flame surrounding a red eye. They remind me of something important but I can't seem to place a finger on what it is that they remind me of.
At the realization that his hands are still placed on my face, my eyes widen and my mouth gapes like a fish at the feelings that rush though my body from where his fingertips make contact with my face. A tear runs down my cheek as an unexpected feeling of longing and sadness washes through me and I grab onto him holding tight as he first hesitates then squeezes back. I don't even know this stranger who broke into my house but it feels as if I have known him all my life. I inhale deeply and smell pine and cedar reminding me of the forest as well as a hint of ash. The combination is confusing but somehow seems to comfort me.
      That confusion is what wakes me up and I shove him back away from me and yell "What the hell are you doing in my house and what do you want?!" He just stands there arms extended at his sides and his face turned downwards. "Well?!" I shout again. "More like mfh....mmfa" me mumbles. "What?!" I ask confused. "I said, more like what is it that YOU want?"
I pause for a second struck by his question. What DO I want I think to myself....
      Answers- yes answers- an escape from it all and possibly some medication. I opt for the first one and I whisper "answers."
"Well buttercup" he says " get ready for A LOT of them."

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