Reconnecting and Remembering Why I Said Always

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 Dedicated to a friend who gave me good advice.... Thank you. x

Standing there head to toe in black with the leather jacket I had bought her over five years ago was Chloe. My mouth had gone dry just taking in the image of her there. Her hair was shorter again, the curls more pronounced as she lifted back the hood from her head – the scars on her face had already faded a little but in the light cast down by the street lamp I could see the red and white lines. I had hoped she would smile a little at seeing me but her face was void of anything – she just stared at me, I guess a reaction to me doing the same thing, staring at her in wonder and amazement.

Jesus Christ Chloe... you nearly gave me a heart attack. What... Why... How...?”

She smiled for the first time and nothing really mattered as she came close to me and wrapped her arms around me, I was aware anyone could see us together here but as her lips touched mine for what felt like the first time in years, I didn't care.

I'm here because Ruth called me – told me you looked like you were losing control of that cool emotionless façade you wear when you step under the arch of Thames House every day. She thought seeing me might help you focus. I disagreed, I thought if you saw me I'd be trapped in your arms and taken to some safe house and hidden – yet you and I know it can't happen like that so here I am.

You're sending Dimitri in there to be one of those stereotypical rich boys whose Daddy has given them too much rope and now they're close to hanging themselves by it?”

I nodded – silently planning Ruth' disciplinary for telling Chloe anything, for contacting her behind my back.

You'll keep Ruth out of this Lucas North! She did what Harry would have told her to do.”

How the Hell did you know what I was thinking?”

My hands automatically gripped her waist and pulled her back to me – the feel of her small frame against my own instantly making me calmer even though I was still close to screaming out my frustration. Kissing her brutally, relishing the feel of her almost within me, the smell of her skin, the softness of her hair against my face I fought against myself not to do what she had said. It would be so easy to pick her up and take her away but it would only save my wife, not end this mess she had been brought into so many years ago – then of course I would technically be abducting one of my own officers. I couldn't be that selfish.

I'm your wife Lucas – the only woman next to your Mother who knows your every thought, plan and scheme before you do!

Ruth called me, we're both concerned about Sarah – don't you huff at me Lucas, try to listen without bringing anything personal into it. I don't have time, especially if I can steal you away for a few hours once we've talked here. Now listen, if you think for one second that the League have forgotten about Sarah' family involvement you're sadly mistaken – she's been followed for weeks now and if Alex is right, and we both know he probably is despite not wanting him to be. Something is going to happen.

The League don’t like to leave loose ends out there... which is why even if you begged me to come home you know deep down I can’t -until five and six have found a way to destroy the group and have every member booked to rights, I can't come home. Believe me Lucas, all I want to do is curl up in out bed and feel your arms around me, I want to be there to help Aeryn with her homework, watch Caleb destroy a robot army or have toy dinosaurs take over his Lego world – to hold Elly in my arms and breathe in the smell of her that is truly unique. I can' t. If I step through our door before this all over – we're all dead. I will not be that selfish to risk our children' safety not even for one second of happiness.

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