Poems and Other Shit

The Way - Poem

I grew up with an understanding and knowledge of the Way,

And an acceptance of Jesus, for my price he did pay.

I've grown up in a room of followers, mumbling as we pray,

On our knees as we groan and moan and sway.

With open ears I've adhered to the teachings of the Way,

And obediently excused all the rife and rich gainsay.

I've ignored the questions of my heart and all its subtle fay,

For to know myself completely will surely lead astray.

I've turned my back on the alternative and worldly hearsay,

Willingly and eagerly to gain my eternal headway.

And in attempt to avoid the impending doomsday,

I have blindly condemned all else for the golden gateway.

But my supressed desires are pulsing and starting to weigh,

And drawing my attention to the undeniable area of grey.

And I'm playing with my faith as I begin to flay,

The truths that once seemed so perfectly okay.

As they lie in front of me in their newfound disarray,

I'm feeling very nervous, for I know I've started to stray.

All my questioning has accidently created an internal Cathay,

Of reasoning and doubts and religious decay.

I've engaged my rationale with a rough round of horseplay,

As I'm expanding my search in an attempt to gain leeway.

And so here I am, in the sinful black doorway,

Shaking with fear as I'm choosing the byway.

And since I've stepped decidedly away,

My mother likens me to Judas for my unfortunate betray.

----

Reader,

Religion was once an inherent aspect of my identity. As was my mother. But I feel that I am better off for my questioning, despite the unfortunate shockwaves it has subjected into my life. It is my strong belief that you should always question. I do not have a problem with religion, but I have a problem with those who follow it blindly. You should know what you believe and why. It is okay to ask questions of yourself, and of those who presume to tell you what you can and can't do.

-  T