Forgotten

Chapter Eight

After we finished lunch, Kia ran off to ‘help Blake and Missy’. I think all she really wanted to do was get away from Zane who was glaring holes through the table. I didn’t think less of her for leaving. I thought less of her for not taking me with her.

Finally, I grumbled, “Can you stop looking at the table like it slaughtered your family?” His head snapped up so fast it must have given him whip flash.

“I wasn’t…”

I snorted. “Yes you were. I was scared you were going to murder it and we would have nowhere to sit but on the ground.”

“I was thinking.” Instead of sounding upset, he sounded defensive which was a change. Even in the short time I’d known him, I’d figured out he was usually angry. I don’t know what happened earlier at the lake; a fluke I guess.

“Hey,” Blake greeted as he entered camp, striding over to our table. He sat down next to me, smiling nicely. Zane should take a lesson from him on how to be nicer.

I smiled back. “Hi.”

“Whatever,” Zane muttered, looking down at his soda. He seemed to be even more of a jerk towards Blake than anyone else.

Blake rolled his eyes and turned to me. “Do you want to go swimming down at the river?” Unlike Zane, he was covered in sweat. It made me happy I wasn’t the only one capable of sweating.

“Sure, I was just thinking about doing that.” I glanced at Zane, “Do you want to come with us?” He looked shocked by my question.

  “He wasn’t invited,” Blake grumbled, making me elbow him.

Zane scowled. “Thanks for inviting me Victoria, but I have a soda that needs finishing.” Only he would use that as an excuse.

“Alright,” I replied. I didn’t feel the need to force him to come. I stood up and Blake followed me. We started towards the river, but I couldn’t help glancing back at Zane. He was staring at me with a confused expression and immediately looked away when he noticed me noticing him.

We reached the lake and stripped down to our underwear. Being in a circus, I was used to wearing revealing clothes so wearing a sports bra and shorts didn’t bother me. As soon as I was rid of my other clothes, I rushed into the river.

Blake stripped down to his boxers as well before following me into the river, keeping a respectable distance. I sighed in relief, tired of being under the sun. The water wasn’t too mucky, but it wasn’t anything I wanted to risk inhaling, so I kept my head above water as I swam to the shadier part.

“So how was talking to Zane?” Blake asked as we relaxed into the cool water. I could’ve sworn there was a hint of jealousy in his voice.

I shrugged, but my shoulders were under water so I wasn’t sure he saw. “Alright, he answered my questions. Then Kia told me a few things too. It’s a lot to take in.”

“I can imagine,” he said, chuckling. “Any chance it made you remember anything?” I knew without looking that his expression would be hopeful.

“Nope, it’s still gone.” We fell into silence and I distracted myself by digging my feet into the dirt at the bottom of the river. Until one got stuck in some weeds, making me decide it would be best to stop.

After a little while; I asked, “So when can I leave?”

“I thought you believed us now.” His voice was quiet and hard. I didn’t dare look at his face, afraid of what emotions I might see there.

I sighed. “I do, but I still want to go back to the circus. I don’t want to be a part of this. I can’t stand it, especially since I don’t remember anything. Besides, I can barely use the elements, I wouldn’t be much help.”

“The deal was if I convinced you, you would stay, I thought I was clear.” His tone was clipped, expressionless.

With a small frown blooming on my lips, I replied, “But I don’t want to do this! I want to go back to my home.”

I didn’t want any part in their war. I thought back to all those times that I wished I knew my past and suddenly remembered Ally’s words. ‘Maybe it was for the best.’ I’d always brushed her off, but for once I reconsidered. Maybe sometimes being in the dark was better.

“Victoria,” he started, sounding mad. Then he stopped and got out of the water. I watched him pull himself out of the river before taking a few steps away. “We’ll talk later.”

I curled my hands into fists. “You can’t do this to me!” As much as I wanted to figure out where I came from, it wasn’t my life anymore. My life was travelling with the circus. My friends were my new family. I felt homesick.

I heard footsteps and turned around, thinking Blake had come back. But he hadn’t; it was Zane. And he looked… upset to put it lightly. His hands were curled at his sides, his jaw was clenched and his eyes were narrowed.

“Can I help you?” I didn’t want to deal with an angry Zane. Although he was almost always angry this seemed worse.

He hesitated, searching for the right words. “You just love being the victim, don’t you? You don’t care what happens to our world as long as you get what you want. Have you even stopped to think about all the people you’re hurting because of your selfishness?” Obviously Blake had told them about our conversation.

“Look, I’m not a part of this anymore! I wouldn’t be able to help even if I wanted to!” Suddenly I hated that I was in the river, it made me seem smaller than him. It let him literally look down on me.

Zane chuckled without humor. “I don’t know what’s so great about your abilities, but apparently you’re the one that’s supposed to save Astoria. Who would choose their own entertainment over saving an entire race- an entire world? I’m happy I didn’t know you before now, because you definitely don’t deserve to be a princess if you’re willing to give up on your people so quickly.”

I gritted my teeth and hurried out of the river, too busy reeling with anger to notice the once over Zane gave me. “You have no right to say that to me! I have spent the only part of my life that I can remember living here as a normal person! All of this is so overwhelming and no one can understand that without going through it. I want to help, but I don’t see how I could. I can barely float half an inch off the ground. You guys can save the world by yourselves.”

“The thing is we can’t! You have one thing we don’t; access to the element of spirit. You might be the last chance we have at survival and you won’t even try,” he snarled at me. I gasped, trying to find the right words to reply. I couldn’t come up with anything, causing him to smirk. “Exactly.” He turned to leave and I ran after him, not willing to lose that easily. I grabbed his shoulder and he spun around, pushing my hand off of him. “Don’t touch me.”

I ignored him, but kept my hand by my side. “You have no idea how I feel so you can’t judge me because of it. This is a lot of sudden responsibility.”

“It’s always ‘me, me, me’ with you, isn’t it? Can’t you see that this is so much bigger than you? Your family is trapped and you don’t even care. All of your friends, your kingdom, your people- an entire world is trapped and you can’t be bothered.” His voice turned mocking and I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. His eyes followed my movement, reminding me that I was only in underwear.

My voice wasn’t as confident as I’d hoped it would be when I exclaimed, “Don’t look at me that way!”

“I would never. I know who you are underneath; a selfish little girl who doesn’t care about anyone but herself.” This time I didn’t try to stop him as he left. Instead I sank to the ground and tried to hold back my tears, not because of what he’d said, but because I knew he was right.