Infatuation (Camren)

six

Camila pressed the palm of her hand on Lauren's sweaty forehead, as she dry heaved, still recovering from the puking. She ran her hand over the top of her tangled mass of hair that she'd helped hold back during her second spell of vomiting.

"Is it coming again?" she asked her gently, trying to offer some comfort by keeping her hand located on her head, but not wanting to invade her personal space and risk being regurgitated on.

Lauren shook her head, "I think it passed. Water."

"Water." Camila agreed. She helped her stand up and guided her to the sink, grabbing a clear plastic cup from the counter and filling it for her.

Lauren rinsed her mouth with it, and spit the water out, repeating this process several times.

"Do you feel sick?" Camila asked her softly, not wanting to be too loud in case of a headache.

Lauren glared at her, wiping her mouth dry of the water with the back of her hand.

"Right." Camila muttered, "Well obviously the puke. I mean, is anything else wrong with you? You seemed perfectly fine a few minutes ago."

"You talking with Ariana like that, and all this stress, it just made me sick... literally apparently." Lauren chuckled darkly and shook her head.

Camila was suddenly engulfing Lauren in her arms, hugging her tight to her chest, kissing the top of her head repeatedly as she swung her leg around her in her signature koala hug.

Lauren stumbled off balance a little upon the immediate contact, but Camila held her steady in her arms. Her nose was pressed up against the cotton of Camila's flannel shirt, which had twisted sideways, so that she only came in contact with the fabric and not her skin.

Lauren could feel the heat of her breath burning her face having no other means of escape route. For a moment she tried to resist her, and pull away. But she didn't last long. The brute force of Camila's arms was intoxicating to her. She couldn't fall, she couldn't pull away, she couldn't shove her off of her, and for some reason, that was a good feeling.

She had only one option and it was to stay confined to the strength and security of Camila's comforting arms, while she covered her in kisses from above, her lips' vigor growing each time they met against the head of raven hair. The impending force on the top of her head also released a lot of the pressure that had built up inside of her head, and that's when she realized...

"I have a headache." Lauren managed to say, finding it difficult to do with her lips mashed against fabric and her breath expanding so very little.

"What?" Camila allowed her to free her head, sliding her arms a little lower past her shoulders and dropping her leg, still holding her firmly in her grasp. She was scared Lauren would runaway from her, even if she only backed away a few feet, and that would give her time to close off her emotional attachments. She was good at doing it.

Camila saw the performance at school daily, as well as on numerous other occasions. And once she did that, she could be a serious bitch, for no reason at all. And in Camila's case, there was actual cause to bitch, so to speak.

At the moment, she needed to hug her, to feel Lauren love her, and she would no longer allow her to do that once she let her out of her arms. Camila could be extremely selfish at times, and what was worse was that she was well aware of it. She knew Lauren loved her, she'd known for some time.

She knew she loved her already the day in the auditorium that led to the night they first slept together, though she didn't think that then Lauren herself was even aware that the feelings she got when around Camila were anything beyond teenage hormones. Camila felt security knowing undoubtedly that Lauren loved her, while at the same time she was aware of the constant doubt that shadowed Lauren, causing her to suffer and writhe in uncertainty.

But she did nothing to stop it because she, Camila Cabello, the upholder of moral standards among students of Miami High, was selfish. So selfish that she seduced and took advantage of her, Lauren Jauregui, the bitch from hell whose torment of others was haulted only by the state of oblivian brought about by extreme self interest. Or so it would seem. It was this same self-centeredness that Camila possessed that willed her to continue to clutch her to her as they spoke.

"I have a headache." Lauren repeated.

"Nausea and a headache?" Camila asked worriedly. Lauren nodded.

"Come on, why don't you lie down." Camila wrapped one arm around her, freeing her from the other one, and led her back into the bedroom, helping her sit down onto the matress. Lauren lay down and stared up at the ceiling for a second, unmoving as Camila felt her forehead.

"You don't feel warm." she murmured. "I'm going to go downstairs and get some medicine and some Sprite or something for your stomach, okay?"

Lauren nodded, not looking at her. Damn it, why could't Camila Cabello ever say anything comforting. "I love you Lauren." would be enough. She just needed to hear her say it one time. If not love, wasn't there something she could say at this moment to convey affection and assure her that she was going to be okay.

"You mean so much to me." or "I couldn't live without you." were just a few suggestions. Suddenly, she felt on the verge of tears, which is why she kept her head in neutral position, her eyes looking up at the ceiling, to prevent the liquid springing out slightly from behind her eyes from falling.

Camila had never seen her cry, and she certainly wouldn't allow it now. In fact, no one close to her had witnessed her crying since she was a small child, including her siblings and parents. It wasn't that she never cried. She cried all the time. But every time she was engaging in a fight with her parents or arguing with Normani and felt tears begin to well, she ran to a place of hiding until the sobs were sustained, and she felt in control again. The worst of it was when she was at school and had heard one too many comments for a single day, often from students she didn't even know, insulting her character.

Nasty slut.

Heartless bitch.

No one could feel good about themselves after hearing that day in and day out, no matter how hard her stare and dark boots and leather jacket tried to convince otherwise.

"No." she said, as Camila was already walking towards the door.

"Huh?" she turned around, confusion evident on her beautiful face.

"No, don't try to help me." Lauren sat upright in the bed, "Make a choice. Now."

"What?" Camila tried to play dumb for her ownsake for a few more minutes, pretending not to comprehend what she was saying.

"Pick me, and only me, or get out of my house." Lauren said, suprised at how firm she sounded, despite the fact that her insides were quaking. She wasn't going to let Camila walk away when the time came and cause her to cry. She was beating her to the punchline.