Perfect and imperfect

Apologize and Izzy lies

I'm going to apologize today. We are supposed to be stand partners so I'll apologize. Apologize for over reacting, yelling, avoiding her, apologize for really everything.

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She wasn't at rehearsal today.

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Next week. Same plan. I will apologize.

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She called in sick, so I'm told.

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This is the third week she wasn't at rehearsal. I need to apologize. So I will.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I send her a text when I get back home from rehearsal.

It takes ten minutes, but she eventually replies. I don't care.

Fair enough I type, being thankful she's alive and well. Well, she's at least alive. But I really am sorry. I overreacted. I yelled and said thing I regret. I'm sorry for it all.

Good for you. Bye! I honestly laughed at how I knew the exact face she pulled as she said this.

Wait! I immediately reply. Plz. Just tell me if ur ok? I haven't seen u in three weeks, I'm worried.

Her response came a few seconds later. I'm perfectly fine going three weeks without seeing you or hearing you or communicating with you in any way.

Ouch. I say, chuckling a bit because I imagine how cute she looks when she's mad. I wait a minute, two minutes, five minutes, then ten before I text again. Not to be needy or clingy by texting again, just to have an excuse to try and get her to forgive me a little bit. Nothing left to say? Okay then. I'm apologizing, and I mean I really am sorry, one more time tonight. I don't expect anything back from you. But I. Am. So. Sorry.

I put down my iPod and was surprised to hear it buzz again. I'm sorry too.

Why the heck are you sorry?! Everything that happened between us was and is my fault! I reply not a second later.

I took you out on that horrible night. I used you. I kissed you without your consent. And I lied. She was a fast typer.

Lied? I ask. What did she lie about?

I lied. Was her response.

About? I ask.

It takes almost two minutes before I get her extremely annoying answer. I'm also sorry I can't tell you that.

I typed out something in protest, but erased it all. I apologized, she apologized, it was fine. I forgive you. I forgive you for anything you think that you did. In reality it was all me, though. I let my emotions get in the way of our friendship and I think I broke that forever. You're forgiven for the nothing you did, and I'm sorry for all I caused.

Emotions? She asked and I snorted out loud. Was that all she got from that text?

Forget I said that. I reply as quick as I can.

Your blushing. She tells me as if she could see me.

How would you know? Stalker. It seems a lot lighter between us in our texts now again.

I just know you, a little too well sometimes, and a lot too little others. Now what are these emotions you claim to have? She sends back.

I don't recall mentioning emotions I smirk as I press send, as if she could see me.

Whatever. It's late I'm gonna sleep. I'll text you tomorrow. I glance at the clock and see that it's already ten o'clock when she responds.

Okay. Goodnight. I send as I breathe a sigh of relief.

I tried to sleep. I was happy again, but there were three thoughts bugging me and keeping me up. The first was that Izzy knew when I would be blushing and didn't try to avoid the fact she liked that she made me blush. The second was that she lied, and from what I can tell still is lying, to me and who knows what about. The third, and this thought was more in the back of my head, was that even though we acted as friends again, Izzy never said she forgave me.