I sit in the back at Olivia's funeral. Chloe and Jeanie sit in the front with her sobbing parents. They don't know I'm here. The Weasleys are in the middle. They don't see me either. I try to avoid reminders and painful conversations.
I think of Olivia's parents. They have no more children. One killed himself and the other died to save my boyfriend.
After the service, everyone lines up to place a flower in her grave. After my flower is down, I leave.
Back in my dorm, Bryn is painting something I don't care about.
"How was it?" She asks.
"Depressing."
"As funerals are." She pauses. "Me, Paul, Michael, and a few others are going out tonight to celebrate the last day of Uni. Want to come with?"
I shrug. "Maybe."
I end up going, seeing as it's better than sobbing in my room all night. We end up at some Muggle club. The music is blaring at a deafening volume, bodies and pressed together so tightly they all seem to mold into one mass, and the air is hot and thick with moisture of everyone's hot breath. I work my way to the bar and order a drink with my fake ID.
The night doesn't get less sad until I'm on my fifth drink. Wanting something to do beside drink my weight in alcohol, I search for my friends.
Bryn is with her girlfriend on the dancefloor. Paul is flirting with a girl a few seats down.
Michael is with standing alone with a drink, so I go up to him.
"Hey!" I scream over the music.
"Hi!" He replies.
"I'm drunk!"
He laughs. "I see."
"Drinking is bad, but I need to get my mind off of some stuff."
"Do you want to go outside? I can barely hear you?"
"Sure!"
We find a spot on the curb. A few feet away from the club. The breeze is relaxing and much lighter than the mugginess of the pulsing building behind us.
"I don't like clubs very much," Michael admits. "I only went because Lindsey Jordans said she was going, but I've already seen her make out with five different guys tonight."
"My boyfriend is in a coma and I went to my best friend's funeral today, so I came here to distract me."
He blinks a few times. "Oh... That's rough."
I nod, sipping my drink and wiping tears from my eyes. "It hurts, but this makes it hurt less."
"No, alcohol just makes the hurt go away for a bit, but then it comes back."
Right then I realized what I need to do to take away the destruction occurring inside of me. I chug the rest of my drink before pulling myself off the curb. "I have to go."
"Yeah, I think I'm ditching too. See you around, Laney."
It's one in the morning, and I'm back in my dorm. My bags are packed and my walls are back to the plain color they were before I let Bryn paint over it. It is, after all, the last day of Uni. I'll be leaving in a few minutes. A goodbye isn't necessary.
Instead, I wander to my dorm bathroom and have a staring contest with my reflection. She looks awful under all of that make up. She is hiding dark circles under her eyes and translucent skin under her foundation. This can be vaguely seen through the tear streaks that slide under her burning red eyes. She turns away, forfeiting the contest. Instead she focuses on the bottle of pills in her hands.
"Hello, old friend."
