Babette's Story (Lawless Fanfic)

Chapter 27: Dealing

It was difficult for me to sleep. Every time I shut my eyes I'd see his repulsive face. I'd wake up gasping and drenched in sweat. Being wrapped in Forrest' arms couldn't even erase the traumatizing images that plagued my mind. Then, there was the graphic images of Cricket Pate being brutally murdered right in front of me. The helpless feeling of which I felt when Charlie was gunned down consumed me, and all I could do was watch another innocent young boy die.

When I think back, I picture so many different scenarios- all in which my brother Charlie was still very much alive. If I had let him and his friends walk me to work... their lives would have been spared. Just as if I would have done something to help Cricket, perhaps, he would still be alive at this moment. Guilt. Guilt is what I felt.

Forrest is the only one who knows about Cricket. The only one that I could bring myself to tell. Once we had arrived at the station Maggie was the only one there. Jack was in the shed- no doubt scared to come face to face with Forrest. Howard was out with Danny- not sure what they were up to, but come tomorrow morning when all three brothers came face to face, it would be a show down.

Jack will be devestated. His best friend, His partner, He would no longer see him. He would no longer be able to share his ridiculous over exaggerated stories- that Cricket aways seemed to enjoy. We would never see his smile, hear his infectious laugh, or witness anymore of his genius ideas. Tears slid down my cheeks. I wouldn't be able to look in Jack's boyish hazel eyes and tell him that I watched his best friend be murdered.

I couldn't lie in bed any longer. I carefully removed myself from Forrest' arms. Hoping that I wouldn't wake him. He remained asleep as I tiptoed towards the room door. Once out the room I noticed a light coming from downstairs. Someone was up. I cautiously walked downstairs only to find Maggie sitting at the bar- cigarette in hand and a glass of brown liquid set in front of her. She noticed me immediately, quickly putting out her cigarette. Her eyes held mine. There was a silent understanding between us. I was brought back to the day that an attempt was made on Forrest' life, by men who were paid by deputy Rakes. Maggie was raped that night. No one knows of that night, with the exception of me and Angie.

"Come and sit, Baps." She said softly. I sat down on a bar stool right next to her. Wincing from the soreness between my thighs. I felt her gaze on me, but I made no attempt at eye contact. Silence lingered, neither one of us ready to speak about a terrible thing we had in common. Forrest had filled her in when he put me to bed, I'm sure.

"Do you see their faces?" I said in a voice almost inaudible. I could feel her eyes on me as I stared off in front of me.

She sighed. "Every night." She whispered. "I wish that I can say you'll move on from it and forget, but how can you forget something like that?" I looked to her as she focused on her hands on the bar.

"How do you get through the day?" My voice cracked caused by the sob I held in my throat.

"Distraction. Working here, keeping myself busy. It keeps my mind off it. When you're alone with your thoughts is when it eats away at you." She says somberly. She placed her hand over mine. "You're not alone. You have your family, and you have Forrest." She whispers sincerely. Loud footsteps from upstairs interrupt us. As Forrest descends, his eyes immediately find mine questioningly.

"What 'chu doin' up?" He rasped. He made his way over to us.

"Couldn't sleep." I mutter. Our eyes never leaving each other. Reading me like the back of his hand.

Maggie rose from her stool. "I'm gonna head on up to bed." She sighed heavily. "G'night you two." She offered me a tight smile. Forrest took Maggie's place at the bar. His body turned to me as I turned straight ahead. The events that had taken place flooded my mind. My eyes began to water, but I fought the urge to cry. How could Forrest ever look at me the same? I was tainted by a vile man. I was disgusted with myself. How could he not be?