A Reason To Be Me...

A Reason To Be Me...- four

A Long Day

“so, how was your day?” my Gran asked, appearing from the kitchen, as I stepped through the door. She smiled sweetly as she waited for my reply. Hoping to hear good news.

“good.” I stated simply, as I slipped my shoes off and hung up my, now full, school bag.

To be honest I didn't want to go into detail and I guess she understood. I was glad my Gran was the understanding type, and didn't push – well, on most things.

She smiled at me once more, “great. Dinner will be ready at six.” she told me before slipping back into her kitchen.

I sighed with relief, grateful that I could finally be alone. It had been a long day. Every class I was introduced as the new girl, which was obvious if you ask me. In a town this small everyone had grown up with each other. Also it was the only high school in the area, besides the private school just a 20 minute drive outside of town, so every one knew who was who, and who was new. Each teacher would make me stand up and tell them a bit about myself. Each time I repeated my name, where I came from and that I now lived with my grandparents. Nothing more, nothing less.

I learnt that Mr Walker, or James whatever, was one of a kind. Most of the other teachers in the school were 'old' school. Not carefree and hippieish like he seemed to be in our brief encounter. The classrooms were all conventional; rows of tables with seating plans, boring displays of students' work, no talking during the lectures, and so on and so forth. But in a way I was glad. It would have been weird to suddenly be in a more relaxed school. It would have meant another change and I just didn't think my brain could take it.

Max made sure to escort me to every class so that I wouldn't get lost in the tiny school, even though I said it was impossible for that to happen, and even if we weren't in the same class. The boy was persistent I'll give him that.

Lunch was a nightmare. I tried to sit by myself, with my bottle of water and apple from the morning, but people kept taking it upon themselves to talk to me and try to include me. Each time they found it strange that I would reject their invitation to sit with them, and muttered that I must just be shy and needed time as they walked away.

Of course they didn't know that I was once the complete opposite. I used to be a social butterfly, one that would have jumped at every opportunity to make new friends with every and any social group. But now I just didn't see the point.

Max however, did not leave even when I told him the seat was in fact not free. But luckily he didn't bring his entourage over with him either. A few from my form had wondered over at first but a girl who I had not yet met called them over to the middle table, the table which seemed to be the one that all the 'popular' people sat at – some things never change.

Each time he would try to strike up a conversation I would just ignore him or give him one word answers, hoping that he would give up and go sit with his friends. On the way home it was worse. The twenty minute drive from school just wouldn't go quick enough. He just kept repeating himself in hope that I would answer in a way he deemed appropriate. It was annoying to say the least and I wanted nothing more then to be left alone. Could he not see that?

Tomorrow I was going to find a new way to get too and from school. Maybe there was a bus I could get.

I trudged upstairs to my room and flopped on the bed, face first with an 'ouf' as the air expelled from my lungs forcefully. I was shattered. Mentally and physically tired from trying to pay attention in class and not faze out and also from the onslaught of happy people wanting to get to know me, some times all at once. I honestly felt like pulling my hair out, shouting 'when will the welcoming comity ever end' at the top of my lungs. How could they all be so darn happy? Maybe I could take what ever they were having.