A Reason To Be Me...

A Reason To Be Me...- three

First Impressions

It was Monday morning. Sunday had been uneventful. My Gran had lent me the car to go to the dump and asked me to get a few things from the store for her. I had taken the opportunity to have a look around the town whilst I was there. It was as I remembered. The few shops on the high street. The little café busy as usual and big banners supporting the schools football team.

I had been up for a few hours, just laying in my bed staring at the ceiling. My alarm was due to go off any moment but I just couldn't find it in me to start getting ready.

The thought of starting a new school this far into the semester was daunting. Not to mention the fact that I was probably going to be the only kid in the school that hadn't grown up here. The school was much, much, smaller then my last. In fact the entirety of the student body was probably the same as that of my Senior class. This was not going to be fun.

My alarm rang out shrilly making Basil jump up in surprise, his head cocking to the side at the sound. I chuckled at his cute expression and turned it off before he began to whine like he used to when I would leave it to play out.

Slowly I got my self ready taking more time then needed in the shower and actually picking out my clothes instead of just chucking on the first thing I could grab. I stared long and hard at my self in the mirror. I would have freaked at the state I was only six months ago, rushing to cover up my pale skin with make-up and other products. But now I didn't care. I looked semi presentable and that was all that mattered.

My once died blond hair was back to it's original dull dark brown. It hung loosely around my face no longer straight but wavy in it's natural state. My hazel eyes stared back at me looking as vacant

as ever and my cheeks looked sallow. I was once considered pretty but now I looked anything but.

I was wearing a plain red t-shirt, it was baggy on me but it was my favourite, and some loose jean shorts cut off just before my knees. I wouldn't have been caught dead going out of the house like this before, but what did it matter now?

I wondered down stairs, the smell of bacon filling my nose. As I walked into the kitchen my Gran smiled at me.

“morning sweetheart. Would you like any breakfast?” she asked motioning to the frying pan in her hand.

I wanted to say yes so that she wouldn't worry but I just could stomach it. I had forced myself to eat last night and I was still feeling full from that. I shook my head “I'll just have some fruit.” I smiled at her grabbing an apple from the bowl on the side.

She smiled and nodded, happy that I was just going for the healthy option perhaps. I wasn't going to eat it now though. No I would most likely save this for lunch or not eat it at all.

“so are you all set for school?” she asked pouring me some juice as I sat up at the breakfast bar.

“sure” I shrugged. I mean what did she expect? For me to be excited?

She smiled at me setting the glass before me. “you don't need to look so worried you'll fit in just fine.” she said giving me a funny look.

I mumbled in a half hearted agreeable way. I didn't want her worrying about me.

There was a knock at the door and her face lit up in her consuming smile. “that must be Max. He's giving you a ride to school today.” she told me as she went to answer the door.

Was she kidding me? I told her I didn't need her setting me up with him. He was clearly a player definitely not someone I wanted to get to no better.