Battlefield [On Hold]

Chapter 5 : Alexander

I remember the day I came here. Dachau. My father had always been a big supporter and fan of Hitler. Every year, year after year, we would go to his speeches. Afterward, my father would start shouting, 'Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!'. I never joined in. As soon as I turned 15, he started applying for me to be in the Army. I was refused for three years, and by then I had memorized the tests. Finally, the call-up notice came. My father was so happy. My mother, she cooked a feast to equal that of kings. My aunts, uncles and grandparents came over. Everyone was celebrating. And me? I stood in the corner, accepting congratulations, and I went to bed as early as possible. In my room, I felt my head explode as the weight of the day came crashing down on my shoulders. I threw myself onto my bed, and screamed into my pillow. Music blared in the other room. People were talking, laughing, my dog started barking, there was too much noise. I never wanted to be a soldier. Especially not for Hitler.

My door opened a crack. My mother's face peered around the door, and her quiet voice said 'Alex? Are you hungry? I brought you some food...' When I nodded my head- I hadn't eaten all day- she came in and sat down on the edge of my bed. She put the tray down, and took my head in her lap. She stroked my forehead, like she did when I was ill as a small child. She whispered, 'You know Father is happy.'

'Too happy', I said.

'He can't fight anymore, because of his leg. He just wants to help somehow, even something like sending his son to war.'

'Wow. Big sacrifice on his part. Ever since I was little, it was all about me going off and being a soldier one day. Just like him.' I say the last sentence deliberately and slowly.

'Darling, you should try to be a little enthusiastic. Please.'

'Can I just have some time alone? Please, I need to think.'

'Ok. I'll be outside if you want me, or if I can do anything.' I try not to hear how hurt she is.

The next week was packed with activity. I had been allowed to pack two bags full of my belongings. It seemed too small a space for my life. I stared at the two suitcases, Koffer in German. It also means coffin. I started throwing in the most ridiculous things, that I would never need but wanted all the same. A rose from my first sweetheart, my dog's puppy collar, a teddy bear I hadn't slept with since my father had caught me and 'disciplined' me, and my diary. This was where I kept my deepest secrets that I didn't share with anyone. I soon realized I had filled most of one suitcase, so I threw in some underwear on top so my mother wouldn't be suspicious. Then I packed the other suitcase with more normal things.

The next moring I was up bright and early, my father knocking on my door with the strength of a bull. "Wake up," he yelled, "it's your big day!!" My big day. Ha. We'll see about that.