Is it worth it?

chapter six

Okay okay. Here it is. Chapter 6

-----------

Chris’ POV

I handed her the clipboard and waited for her reaction.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” does she really not remember? I know she said she could draw anything, let’s see if she still can.

I handed her a pencil and kept my words simple, “Just draw.”

She looked at me with a puzzled expression. Finally she brought the pencil to the paper and made a line on the left side of the paper. She tilted her head and made a matching line on the right. Her eyes grew wide as her hand made more and more lines. She pulled her knees up to her chest for something to rest the clipboard on. I could no longer see the paper, but I knew she was drawing.

Five minutes pass and still she is focused on the markings, adding and erasing every few seconds. After ten minutes I begin to feel curiosity creeping up. She was hunched behind the board drawing and I still had yet to see what she has done. I stood to peek around the edge and look at the paper, but froze. From my sitting position I couldn’t see her face; now standing I can see it perfectly. Her naturally light hazel eyes were now a golden yellow, and her skin shade lighter.

She turned her head as she felt my gaze and I watched, completely frozen, as her eyes slowly changed back to their normal color. She blinked a few times before shaking her head and looking around. Jen turned her head back to the paper and tears fell from her eyes. She threw the clipboard across the room and wrapped her arms around her legs, burying her face in her knees.

The impact of the wall made the paper fall off. I walked over to it and picked it up. Scanning over the sketch I immediately knew who they were…her mother and father. Why the reaction to them though? I look closer and see words in the bottom corner:

Happy graduation, hope you’re glad everything is finally over…forever

I stared at the words, they make no sense. What is finally over? School, well she does go to college.

“Jen…” she flinched, “what do these words mean?” her head tilted up and I met moist hazel eyes. She looked at the wall to the left and spoke with a trembling voice.

“It’s my fault, all of it, everything. I was so stupid, so ignorant. Now I can never take it back, ever. Unforgiving words that will last a life time, I can never apologize. Guilt of the outcome and looks of regret will haunt me, forever.”  Her gaze came back to mine, “I was so angry, so hurt and offended. They forgot about me. They didn’t come to my graduation. They didn’t listen to me. I yelled at them, distracted father. I don’t deserve to live, not when I ended their lives. I killed them. The last thing I said to them was that they never listen. The last thing I thought about them was that they don’t care. The last look they gave me told me that I’m ungrateful. The last sound I head was them screaming. The last memory I have is them trapped and being brought to their deaths, because of me. Now I’m alone, without love, forever.”

I was left speechless. Her parents were dead? How did I not know this? She rests her head back down on her knees, shaking with quiet sobs. I want to comfort her, let her know that she’s not alone. Yet my feet stay glued to the spot. I try to say something to her, make her see that it’s not her fault. Only, my mind remains blank and no words come. I slowly back out of the room, hesitating at the door for a second, before continuing on.

----------------

Jen’s POV

When I had seen the faces of my parents, I knew exactly who they were. When I read the note in the bottom corner, I remember exactly what happened. In seconds the memory surfaced and I was reliving the nightmare of the moments before my parents’ deaths.

The note in the corner wasn’t left by me, I hadn’t written it, my guilt did. That I knew for sure. Guilt is an evil person that lives inside us all. It pulls at our heart and exaggerates the truth. Makes us believe even the smallest things are terrible. That note at the bottom of the page flooded my mind and crushed me.

I wasn’t surprised to see the guy leave. I knew he wouldn’t want to be around a murderer like me. That’s all I am, a murderer in disguise.

The sound of the doorknob turning took my attention. Slowly the nurse from earlier walks toward my bed side.

“Ms. Noals, you need to rest now. We have some pills for you to take. They will make you sleepy and possibly help unlock your memories. You see, when you hit your head you got a minor concussion. The result is swelling on the part of the brain that controls memory. We are hoping that these pills will stop the swelling and that your memories will return to normal. Do you understand?” She looks me straight in the eye.

“Yes.”

“Good. We always ask a parent or guardian for permission to start a patient on any sort of drug, your parents…”

“They’re not my parents” I cut into her sentence.

“You’re guardians…have given the hospital permission to do whatever is necessary. But we always ask for the cooperation of the patient.” She pauses, “will you take the pills?”

“Is there another option?” I’ve always hated pills.

“We could inject it into your IV…”

“Perfect. I won’t take pills.” She nodded before reaching on the cart behind her and picking up a needle and a little bottle of clear liquid. She stabbed the top of the bottle and pulled back on the handle of the needle, filling it with the drug. Slowly I watched as she added it to my IV.

“The sleepiness will take effect in a few minutes. I’ll be back to check up on you when you wake.” She gave me a forced smile and left.

I felt a tingling in my arm, then chest and neck. It traveled to my head and I winced at I felt a sharp pain. My hands start to shake and I remember the monitor as it leaps with my increasing heart rate. The pain in my head increases and I bring my shaking hand to my face. Tears spill over and my heart begins to ache.

Finally the physical pain stops, as memories rush back to me. Time for the mental pain.

***

Bleach blond hair twirling around a head, as she dances. She stops and looks at me with a smirk. Natalya. She was dancing on a stage in front of a huge crowd. They all clapped when she took her bow.

A plate slipping from my wet hands and shattering on the floor. “What have you done?!? Clean it up! Then go straight to your room. I don’t want to see you the rest of the night! Do you understand me?” I frantically reach down and begin picking up the pieces, wincing as a shard cuts into my palm. Blood spills out and I grab a dish towel to stop the bleeding.

 ‘You have been ACCEPTED to Wellington University’, my cheeks hurt from the smile plastered on my face as I read this. I was going to collage! I finally have a reason to leave this...house. I quickly walk up marble stairs and down a hall until I reach the door I’m looking for. Knocking once, twice, three times. “Come in.” a deep voice from the other side commands. “Oh it’s you. What do you want?” “I’ve been accepted to a collage. May I go?”

Stepping threw the double doors of my heaven, Wellington University. Walking down the halls for the first time, feeling free for the first time in a year. I quicken my pace to find my first class, and run straight into someone. “Oops, I’m so sorry.” “It’s ok darling. Just watch where you’re going next time.”

***

These memories slow and so does my heart rate. My hand falls to my sides as I slip into darkness.

-------------------------

Ok I know this took me a little longer to write then what I said it would…what do you think of this chapter? I’d love to see some comments and votes.

~vote~comment~fan~